A large number of young people are leaving school and cannot find a job. What problems will youth unemplpyment cause in individual and for society? Give some measures.
学生原文：
It is not uncommon to have noticed that the society is so ‘harsh’ on those young graduates. The saying :the moment they graduated, the moment they are unemployed, has been widely shared among graduates. Many people concern that there will be bad influence over individuals and society. I, personaly, agree that the concern does have its point.
One can easily foresee that constant failure in finding a job would no doubt make youth disbelieve in themselves, which might lead to their lack of confidence. Furthermore, as for they have no incomes, some youth might commit a crime in order to get some money. And this could undermine the social stability. Moreover, after a few failed experience, some young people are not bothered to find a job, they tend to turn to their family for money. Thus it in turn would make them less likely to find another job.
To address this issue, several approaches should be considered. Optional vocational training should be made available by the society once the young people have graduated from the university. Aside from that, youth should not be judged ‘unbiased’. Not all are suitable for university. Instead, they should be provided with the opportunity in choosing their favorite education, vocational education or college education, once they have finished their high school without parents’ interference. On top of that, parents should stop spoiling their children. Sometimes it is more likely that young people do not want to work in a poor conditioned company than they can not find a job. Parents, who are afraid that their ‘precious’ cannot enjoy a good working environment, encourage their children to quit their job.
To summarize, the large number of unemployment surely is a pressing issue not only for the youth but also for the whole society. To address this problem, efforts from multiple parties are required. But fundamental practice to have this problem solved lies in the change of attitude of young people.
小站教育老师批改后：
It is not uncommon to have noticed that the society is so ‘harsh’ on those young graduates. The saying :(that) the moment (when) they graduated, the moment (when) they are unemployed, has been widely shared among graduates. Many people concern that there will be bad influence over individuals and society. I, personaly, agree that the concern does have its point.
One can easily foresee that constant failure in finding a job would no doubt make youth disbelieve in themselves, which might lead to their lack of confidence. Furthermore, as for they have no incomes, some youth might commit a crime in order to get some money. And this could undermine the social stability. Moreover, 【避免与furthermore意思重复，不妨换成At The meantime】after a few failed experience,(experiences) some young people are not bothered to find a job, they tend to turn to their family for money. Thus it in turn would make them less likely to find another job.
To address this issue, several approaches should be considered. Optional vocational training should be made available by the society once the young people have graduated from the university. Aside from that, youth should not be judged ‘unbiased’. Not all are suitable for university. Instead, they should be provided with the opportunity in choosing their favorite education, vocational education or college education, once they have finished their high school without parents’ interference. On top of that, parents should stop spoiling their children. Sometimes it is more likely that young people do not want to work in a poor conditioned company than they can not find a job. Parents, who are afraid that their ‘precious’ cannot enjoy a good working environment, encourage their children to quit their job.【这一段缺一个中心句，可与说解决就业问题需要每个人共同的努力。不然只有几个列举的措施，读起来这段话不够紧凑，联系性不强。同时从政府家长的角度思考措施，那么从年轻人自身的角度呢？】
To summarize, the large number of unemployment surely is a pressing issue not only for the youth but also for the whole society. To address this problem, efforts from multiple parties are required. 【这句话总结的好】But fundamental practice to have this problem solved lies in the change of attitude of young people.
估分：5.5
评价：论证思路没有问题；注意行文结构的紧凑联系。注意词汇等细节问题。
