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机经A/DA

  新人第一次发帖,求老师们狠点,给多点意见。。。还有20多天考试了。

  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In 20 years from now on, students will not use printed books any more.

  提纲:

  1, 同意观点。

  2, 电纸书的出现让读书变得更方便。

  3, 现在正在流行网络课堂,电子教科书按照教师讲课爱好与顺序编写相比于printed books,学生更容易跟得上老师的思路。

  4, 书本的纸张是由树木制造的,面对日益严峻的环境问题和绿化面积减少的问题,书本的印刷在未来一定会被限制。 并且印刷书的价格要远大于电纸书的价格。

  This is an interesting topic. Personally, I like printed books, because books give me a sense of superior tactile sensitivity. Although I like printed books, I do not think those books will still keep its enduring popularity after decades. So I agree with the idea that students will not use printed books any more in twenty years from now on. The main reasons are listed as follows.

  In the first place, since the technology and science has been becoming increasingly developed, more and more new electronic products have been designed and invented. Most of those can be used for reading e-books. As we all know, compared with e-books, printed books are too massive and heavy to carry. We can use a cellphone or a Pad which can store many e-books to read books anywhere and anytime. That advantage revealed most clearly on buses, trains and some other places where there are lots of people and almost no place to read books.

  Nowadays, online education is becoming increasingly popular, according to a recent survey that approximately two thirds students used computers to study online at least one or more times, and that the number of students studying online is growing. Online education is very convenient and efficient for students to study, because the materials we use are compiled by the tendency of teachers and in teaching order. Compare this material with printed books, the former is better accepted and studied, for students will catch up with teachers more easily.

  Last but not least, we all know the fact that printed books are mainly made from trees. In view of the growing seriousness of the environmental problems and the green spaces are decreasing step by step. The printed books will be limited in the future. Also, printed books are more expensive compare with e-books which is cheaper and easily affordable.

  All in all, from what have been discussed above, though printed books have some advantages, their disadvantages far outweigh their advantage. So we can safely draw the conclusion that students will not use printed books any more in twenty years from now on.


This is an interesting topic. Personally, I like printed books, because books [应该是printed books] give me a sense of superior tactile sensitivity. Although I like printed books, [这里虽然是有承上启下的作用,但是因为你前面已经说过用过I like这半句了,所以这里就显得重复多余,改为But之类的转折要好一些] I do not think those books will still keep its enduring [enduring也属多余,去掉] popularity after decades. So I agree with the idea that students will not use printed books any more in twenty years from now on. The main reasons are listed as follows. 

In the first place, since the [the去掉] technology and science has been becoming increasingly developed, more and more new electronic products have been designed and invented. Most of those can be used for reading e-books. As we all know, compared with e-books, printed books are too massive and heavy to carry. We can use a cellphone or a Pad which can store many e-books to read books anywhere and anytime. That advantage revealed [这里要加is ,这样才是完整被动态] most clearly on buses, trains and some other places where there are lots of people and almost no place to read books. [叙述挺清楚的,不错]
 
Nowadays, online education is becoming increasingly popular, 这里改为句号。不然句子太长了,英文的习惯是先说一个观点,然后再论证] according to a recent survey that approximately two thirds [加of] students used [用一般现在时]computers to study online at least one [一次就是once] or more times, and that the number of students studying online is growing. Online education is very convenient and efficient for students to study, because the materials we [the student] use are compiled by the tendency of teachers and in teaching order. Compare this material with printed books, the former is better accepted and studied, for students will catch up with teachers more easily. 
 
Last but not least, we all know [尽量用第三人称,改为it is known that…] the fact that printed books are mainly made from trees. In view of the growing seriousness of the environmental problems and the green spaces are decreasing step by step. The printed books will be limited in the future. Also, printed books are more expensive compare with e-books which is cheaper and easily affordable.

All in all, from what have been discussed above, though printed books have some advantages, their disadvantages far outweigh their advantage. So we [这是你在写作,你得出的结论,改为i] can safely draw the conclusion that students will not use printed books any more in twenty years from now on.
 
预估分数:3.8
 
文章比较短小精悍,论述有理有据,,说法了不错。
表达也比较清晰有条理,只是个别地方有些重复啰嗦。另外,要注意写作尽量用第三人称,显得客观,有说服力。
语法错误稍微有点多,按你的功底不应该有这些错误的。还是要仔细。
Independent Task Level:Good
3.8 23
 
Level: GOOD (3.7–5.0)
ADVICE FOR IMPROVEMENT OF INTERGRATED TASK
>> Continue to improve your ability to relate and convey information from two or more sources. For example, practice analyzing reading passages in English.
>> Read two articles or chapters on the same topic or issue, write a summary of each, and then explain the ways they are similar and the ways they are different.
>> Practice combining listening and reading by searching for readings related to talks and lectures with teacher or a friend.
ADVICE FOR IMPROVEMENT OF INDEPENDENT TASK
>> Continue to improve your ability to express opinions by studying the ways that published writers express their opinions.
>> Read articles and essays written by professional writers that express opinions about an issue (for example, a social, environmental or educational issue).
>> Identify the writer’s opinion or opinions.
>> Notice how the writer addresses possible objections to the opinions, if the writer discusses these.
>>尽量多阅读范文,模仿好的文章中作者阐述论证观点的方式。
>>多阅读不同类型话题的文章,积累专业作家针对不同话题的观点内容。
>>可以多引用别人的观点内容。
>>阅读范文过程中,注意作者如何反向论证观点。
 
图书馆的电子书替代全部的纸质书好吗?
understanding ideas and concepts or learning facts哪个更重要
批改范文——什么样的工作更适合你?
如何给朋友提意见
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