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TPO6 writing2

        I agree with that life today is easier and more comfortable, it is well known that our life today is much easier than the time when our grandparents were children because now more and more technology and science are enveloped, [用词错误,再仔细看看你写了什么词] we have a large number of activities to full [这个单词只是形容词,不可作动词] our lives. However, it hotly imagine [这句话不懂你想表达什么意思。It是指代的什么。其次,it后面不可能跟一个动词的原形。要么是过去时之类的,如果是现在时,要用单数] peoples' lives in the past year. What people image is [你的表述有问题,你可以说回忆,而不是想象。也就是recall] only a few old pictures from our grandparents. I think our life is happier than ever because of peace and food after I listen what my parents and grandparents have said. Below I will present concrete evidence to support my view. [你这段话充满了主观的句子,没有什么分析的成分]

  First example is that once I have seen [用一般过去式] a photo from my grandma by accident. It has taken a very long time. There was my mum and grandma in the picture and behind them, there is a house which [which去掉] made of wood and it is a little bit small. My grandma told me that my mum's favorite food is rice when she is a kid because at that time, there wasn't any rice. The only thing can eat is pea and salt. [要结合分析,不是一个例子就可以做一段的]

  Another example is that I have been to [用一般过去式] my father's hometown and went to see where he had lived when he was little [young]. It [应该是i] is shocked that a very small house in my eyes. I think it can just hold two people but my father said that there were eight people in his family and live in this small house [你父亲所说的这些,都是过去是事情,要用过去时]. When he slept, it just like he sit on the floor and not lay. Also there were many warfare happened in the past. It is very horrible that I can't image.

  Above of the examples, that is why I think we are lucky now because we have lots of food to eat, do not think about warfare and can do a lot things that can't do in the past year. [你的分析太过简单了,而且,要一遍说例子,一遍分析。结合主题]

  预估分数:2

  没什么分析的成分,更多的只是你的叙述而已,说服力很弱。

  表述能力差,多次用词不妥,没有什么好的积累。

  语法错误也很多,基本功要多加夯实,

Independent Task Level:Limited
2 12

  Level: LIMITED (1.0–2.0)

  ADVICE FOR IMPROVEMENT OF INTERGRATED TASK

  >> Read and listen to academic articles and other material in your own language. Take notes about what you read and hear.

  >> Begin by taking notes in your own language and then take notes in English.

  >> Summarize the points in complete English sentences.

  >> Ask your teacher to review your writing and help you correct your errors.

  >> Gradually decrease the time it takes you to read the material and write these summaries.

  >> Practice typing on a standard English (QWERTY) keyboard.

  ADVICE FOR IMPROVEMENT OF INDEPENDENT TASK

  >> Study the organization of good paragraphs and essays. A good paragraph discusses ONE main idea. This idea is usually written in the first sentence, which is called the topic sentence. In essay writing, each paragraph should discuss one aspect of the main idea of an essay.

  >> Write paragraphs in English that focus on one main idea and contain several complete sentences that explain or support that idea.

  >> Ask your teacher to review your paragraphs for correctness

  >>学习议论文篇章结构和框架。议论文中一段一个主观点。主观点必须写在段落的第一句话,这句话称为主旨句。在议论文中,每个段落只论证其中一个方面。

  >>每个段落主旨只有一个,但是其后的支持论据可以排列几个,并要用完整句子回答。

  >>写好文章之后一定要找老师修改。

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