小站为各位考试提供免费在线批改服务，今天托福写作批改板块给各位考生带来的批改是：The best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone
免费托福写作批改前
Thanks to the prosperity of economy, an increasing number of people confront with the increasingly fierce social competition, so they have to shoulder enormous pressure. There is no denying the fact that whether the best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone which has aroused heated debate over a long period of time. People’s opinion differs from one to another. From my standpoint, staying with families and friends is the best method to release our pressure, spending time alone may be not a great choice.
First and foremost, as we know, everyone has his own habit to remove pressure, some person are fond of playing sports, watching movies, shopping, and communicating with their familiars or friends. On the contrary, the other person would like to stay along when they are under tremendous pressure. I deem that we will experience various challenges, troubles and problems in any range in our learning process or daily life, most of them which translate into pressure gradually could not be solved or faced with by ourselves. In other words, sometimes no matter how much time you spend alone, the problem will still be there without any change. So it’s necessary for us to communicate and share our pressure with families and friends. Maybe they will give you their analysis and suggestions to help you undergo the tough situations. Even though they don’t equip the abilities to deal with the problems, they certainly accompany around you to accept the challenges and comfort you to rebuild your self-confident. Families and friends always provide timely help which can release our pressure and trample all difficulties underfoot.
Last but not least, if we hide our pressure in our heart all the time, we will be likely to suffer some mental illness, moreover some people generated suicidal idea which full of negative effect on our life. A celebrated survey which has been investigated by People’s Daily in several major cities in China shows that compared with the person which enjoy developing activities with others when they are under pressure, the person who spending time alone have higher risk of influencing on physic and mental health.
What has been discussed above, we could draw the conclusion that when we shoulder much pressure, we should spending time with families and friends diverting attention from enormous pressure or search the best solution. Only in this way can we discharge the pressure to achieve truly relaxation and keep healthy living conditions, otherwise we will be disturbed by them all the time and generate other unpredictable troubles.
免费托福写作批改后：
Thanks to the prosperity of economy, an increasing number of people confront with the increasingly【fiercer，increasingly前面刚用过】 fierce social competition, so they have to shoulder【bear，shoulder 更偏向于物理】enormous pressure. There is no denying the fact that whether the best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone which has aroused heated debate over a long period of time. People’s opinion differs from one to another. From my standpoint, staying with families and friends is the best method to release our pressure, spending time alone may be not a great choice.
First and foremost, as we know, everyone has his own habit to remove pressure, some person are fond of playing sports, watching movies, shopping, and communicating with their familiars or friends. On the contrary, the other person would like to stay along when they are under tremendous pressure. I deem that we will experience various challenges, troubles and problems in any range in our learning process or daily life, most of them which translate into pressure gradually could not be solved or faced with by ourselves. In other words, sometimes no matter how much time you spend alone, the problem will still be there without any change. So it’s necessary for us to communicate and share our pressure with families and friends. Maybe they will give you their analysis and suggestions to help you undergo the tough situations. Even though they don’t equip the abilities to deal with the problems, they certainly accompany around you to accept the challenges and comfort you to rebuild your self-confident. Families and friends always provide timely help which can release our pressure and trample all difficulties underfoot. 【看的出来论述和条理都很不错】
Last but not least【不是第三点的话用这个有点不大恰当的感觉】, if we hide our pressure in our heart all the time, we will be likely to suffer some mental illness, 【M】moreover some people generated【s】suicidal idea which full of negative effect on our life. A celebrated survey which has been investigated by People’s Daily in several major cities in China shows that compared with the person which enjoy developing activities with others when they are under pressure, the person who spending time alone have higher risk of influencing on physic and mental health.
What has been discussed above, we could draw the conclusion that when we shoulder much pressure, we should spending time with families and friends diverting attention from enormous pressure or search the best solution. Only in this way can we discharge the pressure to achieve truly relaxation and keep healthy living conditions, otherwise we will be disturbed by them all the time and generate other unpredictable troubles.
预估分数：
25
写的很不错呦，重点论点的论述层层递进的感觉很不错，说明你的思路是很清晰的。遣词造句的能力也看的出来不错，使用了一些高级词汇，并且大部分都符合英文语言习惯。你一定能够考个好的作文成绩啦。
