Some people think cars should be banned in city centers, especially in large cities. Do you agree or disagree?
学生原文：
Nowadays, the problems of traffic congestion in downtown are becoming more serious than the past. Some of the individuals in large cities are concerning that the government should provide prohibitions regarding about cars driving in the central of the urban area. I agree with this due to the benefits it could bring to city dwellers and travelers.
Some individuals issue that prohibiting cars in the central of city can be beneficial to city dwellers’ health. It is reasonable because this way could make people to choose other transports to get to city, such as by bicycle or even by walking. As a result, it leads people to do more sports and reduce the risk of obesity. Meanwhile, this restriction can reduce sound pollution and air pollution in city centers, which would make the environment be more friendly, and this helps people who live in the city to improve their fitness.
In addition, if cars were not allowed to drive in city centers, it will effectively avoid car accidents and relieve traffic congestion in city. Thus, it makes downtown to be safer, which can attract more travelers. As it is generally known that tourists prefer to visit a place without crowds, if problems of traffic congestion can be tackled, I believe that there may be an increasing number of travelers in downtown.
However, admittedly, forbidding people to drive cars in the central of urban area can make them feel inconvenient, especially for people who study and work in cities. Instead of driving to school or workplace, individuals would have to stay in an extremely long queue to get into a bus in rush hours. It could be worse if the bus was full, they would need to wait for the next bus, consequently, this may even make them late for school or work.
To sum up, although prohibiting car uses in city centers may make some of the city dwellers feel inconvenient, I still believe that this restriction can bring benefits to both people’s health and road safety.
小站教育老师批改后：
Nowadays, the problems of traffic congestion in downtown are becoming more serious than(those in) the past. 【背景介绍】Some of the individuals in large cities are concerning that the government should provide prohibitions regarding about cars driving in the central of the urban area. 【改写题目】I agree with this due to the benefits it could bring to city dwellers and travelers.【自己的观点】
Some individuals issue that prohibiting cars in the central of city can be beneficial to city dwellers’ health. It is reasonable because this way could make people to choose other transports to get to city, such as by bicycle or even by walking. As a result, it leads people to do more sports and reduce the risk(possibility) of obesity. Meanwhile, this restriction can reduce sound pollution and air pollution in city centers, which would make the environment be more friendly, and this helps people who live in the city to improve their fitness.
In addition, if cars were not allowed to drive in city centers, it will effectively avoid car accidents and relieve traffic congestion in city. Thus, it makes downtown to be safer, which can attract more travelers. As it is generally known that tourists prefer to visit a place without crowds, if problems of traffic congestion can be tackled, I believe that there may be an increasing number of travelers in downtown. 【这一段加一个中心句会更好】
However, admittedly, forbidding people to drive cars in the central of urban area can make them feel inconvenient, especially for people who study and work in cities. Instead of driving to school or workplace, individuals would have to stay in an extremely long queue to get into a bus in rush hours. It could be worse if the bus was full, they would need to wait for the next bus, consequently, this may even make them late for school or work. 【这一段你应该简要的点出问题，然后给出合理化的建议或者 解决措施，比如应该大力发展公共交通等，有问题就一定要有措施，不然点出问题毫无意义】
To sum up, although prohibiting car uses in city centers may make some of the city dwellers feel inconvenient, I still believe that this restriction can bring benefits to both people’s health and road safety.【你这样的总结似乎缺乏说服力，你在上一段需要进一步阐述】
估分：6.5
评价：整体的论证思思路非常清晰，也很合理，怎么样引出自己的观点，让自己观点的提出很顺理成章，比较有说服力，部分还需要再进一步优化。
