托福写作批改：是否要从不同渠道获取新闻信息

作文批改前：

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news resources.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

With the burgeoning mass media, nowadays there are multiple resources of news, ranging from the traditional ones such as newspaper, radio to the cutting edge ones such as portals and even social networking site. But the prevalence of new media gives rise to a question: is it really beneficial to have so miscellaneous options for news? From my perspective, too many message sources by no means help us to be well-informed.

Thanks to the progress made in the information technology, we are able to receive sufficient information from few or sometimes just one resource. Take myself, a big fan of soccer, as an instance, during the World Cup, I was able to get every piece of latest news about it with my smart phone. Since I subscribed to the news of team Argentina, which is my favorite, in the app of Yahoo Sports, every time they had a game, I received a push notification on my cellphone about the temperature and moisture of the game, the attendance of the stadium and the injuries for both teams, which were pretty detailed and useful, especially for us lottery buyers. Whenever I had leisure, I could enjoy the real-time broadcasting wherever with a 4G cellular network or Wifi, otherwise, I would keep mindful of the result and the news of the press conference pushed to my phone after the game. As you see, I was informed of the information concerning every facet of the game with merely a cellphone, more specifically, an app.

In such an era of information explosion, integrating the messages from various sources is a rather arduous but superfluous work. As content of the news is limited, it is not an uncommon practice for newspapers, magazines and websites to publish similar versions of news deriving from the exact same one. I am convinced that phenomena makes sense because distinct forms of media aim at distinct markets and consequently meet the need of information of different groups of individuals. However, trying to collect information through all those channels is really time-consuming and more importantly, once you know a piece of news with one certain approach, what can be obtained from other ways is mostly nothing but redundancy.

A huge sea of information does not necessarily guarantee high credibility, on the contrary, it is very likely to mislead or confuse people without discernment. A classic example of this is the spreading of rumors. Since rumors are always more stimulating and appealing to people’s curiosity, they are prone to kill the truth, occupy the niche of news resources and go viral. Last month, a tweeter saying that a kind of toxicant called sodium chloride was detected in the fries of McDonald turned out to be a joke because sodium chloride is just salt which is ubiquitous in all kinds of food materials. But the alarming fact that it was reposted over 5,000 times and triggered great blame on the McDonald indeed demonstrates that bad news drives good ones out of the channels of information easily and too much access to information can be hazardous to ones who cannot distinguish truth from falsehood.

Although we now have various options for the acquisition of information, with the help of technology, we simply no longer need many of them. Moreover, in order to get informed more efficiently and circumvent rumors, we also had better stick to one way. To conclude, I do believe a saying in the design world is also applicable when it comes to ways to acquire information: Less is more.

小站批改做完后：

With the burgeoning mass media, nowadays there are multiple resources of news [表意不够明确], ranging from the traditional ones such as newspaper, radio to the cutting edge ones such as portals and even social networking site. But the prevalence of new media gives rise to a question: is it really beneficial to have so miscellaneous options for news? From my perspective, too many message sources by no means help us to be well-informed. [开头引入部分不错]

Thanks to the progress made in the[去掉] information technology, we are able to receive sufficient information from few or sometimes just one resource. Take myself, a big fan of soccer, as an instance, during the World Cup, I was able to get every piece of latest news about it with my smart phone. Since I subscribed to the news of team Argentina, which is my favorite, in the app of Yahoo Sports, every time they had a game, I received a push notification on my cellphone about the temperature and moisture of the game, the attendance of the stadium and the injuries for both teams, which were pretty detailed and useful, especially for us lottery buyers. Whenever I had leisure, I could enjoy the real-time broadcasting wherever with a 4G cellular network or Wifi, otherwise, I would keep mindful of the result and the news of the press conference pushed to my phone after the game. As you see, I was informed of the information concerning every facet of the game with merely a cellphone, more specifically, an app.

In such an era of information explosion, integrating the messages from various sources is a rather arduous but superfluous work. As content of the news is limited, it is not an uncommon practice for newspapers, magazines and websites to publish similar versions of news deriving from the exact same one. I am convinced that phenomena makes sense because distinct forms of media aim at distinct markets and consequently meet the need of information of different groups of individuals. However, trying to collect information through all those channels is really time-consuming and more importantly, once you know a piece of news with one certain approach, what can be obtained from other ways is mostly nothing but redundancy.

A huge sea of information does not necessarily guarantee high credibility, on the contrary, it is very likely to mislead or confuse people without discernment. A classic example of this is the spreading of rumors. Since rumors are always more stimulating and appealing to people’s curiosity, they are prone to kill the truth, occupy the niche of news resources and go viral. Last month, a tweeter saying that a kind of toxicant called sodium chloride was detected in the fries of McDonald turned out to be a joke because sodium chloride is just salt which is ubiquitous in all kinds of food materials. But the alarming fact that it was reposted over 5,000 times and triggered great blame on the McDonald indeed demonstrates that bad news drives good ones out of the channels of information easily and too much access to information can be hazardous to ones who cannot distinguish truth from falsehood.

Although we now have various options for the acquisition of information, with the help of technology, we simply no longer need many of them. Moreover, in order to get informed more efficiently and circumvent rumors, we also had better stick to one way. To conclude, I do believe a saying in the design world is also applicable when it comes to ways to acquire information: Less is more.

预估分数：4.5/28

语言表达能够很好的达意，可见基本功非常的好

结构清晰，层次分明，内容充实，继续保持

内容非常充实，继续保持