免费托福写作批改：与人相处的能力更重要？

小站教育为各位考试提供免费在线批改服务，今天托福写作批改板块给各位考生带来的批改是：For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.agree or disagree.

免费托福写作批改前——学生原文

When it comes to preparations for future, students will get into a dilemma about whether to study hard in university or focus more on social relationships. In my view, I suppose it depends on the circumstances and what's the exact job you desire to choose.

To begin with, consolidating the knowledge basis and acquiring numerous academic achievements are indispensable if you are going to work in the scientific field or some other jobs that require professional abilities. In fact, most scientists are always sitting in the laboratory modifying their mathematic models and writing papers about their new theories or discoveries. Take Albert Einstein as an example, as a renowned genius in physics and math, he made amazing contributions to people's cognition of science and the whole world. However, he barely talked to others at a young age, and when growing up, his spared no effort devoting himself into his scientific researches. Thus, for the relative professional job, studying hard in school may be more beneficial than fostering relationships with people.

What's more, further lending credence to my position is that basic to any understanding of work related to other certain fields, social relationships become vital, even the most important part. As we all realize, the contemporary world we all living in is fairly huge and complex, and the Internet has brought about a wealth of information, which enlarges our social circles, leading to more opportunities and inevitable connections with others. For instance, my brother is a businessman, who has conferences every day and frequently meets various people from diverse places. The friends he made in previous years really provide much help to his today's business, and the social abilities he gained appear to be crucial to his success. This is only a typical and conspicuous example, and other innumerable jobs strongly requiring social capacity also exist, such as news reporters, medical workers, bank clerks and the like.

To sum up, actually for success to the future job, there is no doubt that any of the two factors is important. If it's difficult to balance them well and there is only one of them could be regarded as the first, just think about what you really desire to do in the future.

免费托福写作批改后

When it comes to【the】preparations for future, students will get into a dilemma about whether to study hard in university or focus more on social relationships. In my view, I suppose it depends on the circumstances and what's the exact job you desire to choose.

To begin with, consolidating the knowledge basis and acquiring numerous academic achievements are indispensable if you are going to work in the scientific field or some other jobs that require professional abilities. In fact, most scientists are always sitting in the laboratory modifying their mathematic models and writing papers about their new theories or discoveries. Take Albert Einstein as an example, as a renowned genius in physics and math, he made amazing contributions to people's cognition of science and the whole world. However, he barely talked to others at a young age, and when growing up, his spared no effort devoting himself into his scientific researches. Thus, for the relative professional job, studying hard in school may be more beneficial than fostering relationships with people.

What's more, further lending credence to my position is that basic to any understanding of【不需要】 work related to other certain fields, social relationships become vital, even the most important part. As we all realize, the contemporary world we all living in is fairly huge and complex, and the Internet has brought about a wealth of information, which enlarges our social circles, leading to more opportunities and inevitable connections with others. For instance, my brother is a businessman, who has conferences every day and frequently meets various people from diverse places. The friends he made in previous years really provide much help to his today's business, and the social abilities he gained appear to be crucial to his success. This is only a typical and conspicuous example, and other innumerable jobs strongly requiring social capacity also exist, such as news reporters, medical workers, bank clerks and the like.

To sum up, actually for success to the future job, there is no doubt that any of the two factors is important. If it's difficult to balance them well and there is only one of them could be regarded as the first, just think about what you really desire to do in the future.

预估分数：

25

整体基本没有错误，很不错哟。语言方面写的很流畅，用词也很精确，论述方面论叙结合也不错。而且由于题目的特殊性，选择两面说明的写法也比较讨巧。总结部分的二者兼具才能最成功的论点其实可以作为第三论点进行补叙。其他没什么了。一定能够考个好成绩的