免费托福写作批改：与人相处的能力更重要

小站教育为各位考试提供免费在线批改服务，今天托福写作批改板块给各位考生带来的批改是：

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

免费托福写作批改前——学生原文：

Living in the period when a hero or superman cannot save the world by himself any more, people in a large number are beginning to realize that a person's energy is limited and tiny. So how can we achieve success in the modern society? From my part, relating well to people instead of just studying hard at school is undoubtedly the key to success in a future job.

In the first place, as we all know, nowadays there may be few jobs that can be entirely completed on your own. No one can deny the basic fact that cooperation and team spirit have become the soul of more and more modern companies. Therefore, to satisfy the standard of these excellent companies, to efficiently work in your position, it's necessary to relate well with others by developing and cultivating interpersonal skills. Take the employees of Big Four for example. Usually, millions of auditors in the big four are divided into groups to complete a large range of projects. If you are a member of the group, you must be equipped with the ability of understanding and carrying out the audit plan of the leader in the group, communicating and cooperating with your colleagues in practice. It's hard to imagine an auditor alone completing the whole auditing process, even though he/she is possibly the best graduate from school and solidly masters his/her major.

Additionally, relating well to people exerts far-reaching impact on your improvement and promotion in future career. To be honest, your success in your job depends on other individuals’ recognition and evaluation to some degree. In the office, those who can deal with the relationship with colleagues not only can do the job well with the help of others, but also win other's trust and praise, which benefits his promotion opportunities. In another word, how to live perfectly in the relationships in society is another kind of art that can never be obtained from the textbooks in school.

Finally, individual intelligence is limited, especially in the workplace. The majority of people are unable to cast off the fixed thinking. Relationship with various people with knowledge in different fields widens your horizon and inspires creative ideas which maybe contribute directly to your work. For example, nowadays almost every professor who invents new advanced technology will not success in his job without the collective intelligence of his team. Therefore, with the ability of relating to people, you will not only achieve personal success but also own the great success of a group.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that compared with studying hard in school, it's more crucial to develop the ability of relating well to people, which enhances your efficiency, benefits your promotion and inspires your creation in the long term.

免费托福写作批改后

Living in the period when a hero or superman cannot save the world by himself any more, people in a large number are beginning to realize that a person's energy is limited and tiny. So how can we achieve success in the modern society? From my part, relating well to people instead of just studying hard at school is undoubtedly the key to success in a future job.【开篇引入不错】

In the first place, as we all know, nowadays there may be few jobs that can be entirely completed on your own. No one can deny the basic fact that cooperation and team spirit have become the soul of more and more modern companies. Therefore, to satisfy the standard of these excellent companies, to efficiently work in your position, it's necessary to relate well with others by developing and cultivating interpersonal skills. Take the employees of Big Four【四大不要直译，它只是在中国人们的简称】 for example. Usually, millions of auditors in the big four are divided into groups to complete a large range of projects. If you are a member of the group, you must be equipped with the ability of understanding and carrying out the audit plan of the leader in the group, communicating and cooperating with your colleagues in practice. It's hard to imagine an auditor alone completing the whole auditing process, even though he/she is possibly the best graduate from school and solidly masters his/her major. 【论证还是比较有说服力的】

Additionally, relating well to people exerts far-reaching impact on your improvement and promotion in future career. To be honest, your success in your job depends on other individuals’ recognition and evaluation to some degree. In the office, those who can deal with the relationship with colleagues not only can do the job well with the help of others, but also win other's trust and praise, which benefits his promotion opportunities. In another word, how to live perfectly in the relationships in society is another kind of art that can never be obtained from the textbooks in school.

Finally, individual intelligence is limited, especially in the workplace. The majority of people are unable to cast off the fixed thinking. Relationship with various people with knowledge in different fields widens your horizon and inspires creative ideas which maybe contribute directly to your work. For example, nowadays almost every professor who invents new advanced technology will not success in his job without the collective intelligence of his team. Therefore, with the ability of relating to people, you will not only achieve personal success but also own the great success of a group.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that compared with studying hard in school, it's more crucial to develop the ability of relating well to people, which enhances your efficiency, benefits your promotion and inspires your creation in the long term.

【思路很清晰，逻辑严谨，语言运用也比较熟练】

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