When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
学生原文：
Many people choose their jobs based on the size of the salary offered. Personally, I disagree with the idea that money is the key consideration when deciding on a career, because I believe that other factors are equally important.
On the one hand, I agree that money is necessary in order for people to meet their basic needs. For example, we all need money to pay for housing, food, bills, health care, and education. Most people consider it a priority to at least earn a salary that allows them to cover these needs and have a reasonable quality of life. If people chose their jobs based on enjoyment or other non-financial factors, they might find it difficult to support themselves. Artists and musicians, for instance, are known for choosing a career path that they love, but that does not always provide them with enough money to live comfortably and raise a family.
Nevertheless, I believe that other considerations are just as important as what we earn in our jobs. Firstly, personal relationships and the atmosphere in a workplace are extremely important when choosing a job. Having a good manager or friendly colleagues, for example, can make a huge difference to workers’ levels of happiness and general quality of life. Secondly, many people’s feelings of job satisfaction come from their professional achievements, the skills they learn, and the position they reach, rather than the money they earn. Finally, some people choose a career because they want to help others and contribute something positive to society.
In conclusion, while salaries certainly affect people’s choice of profession, I do not believe that money outweighs all other motivators.
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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
（先就选择职业要考虑的因素做一个背景介绍，接着转到人们会很看重工资这一表达）Many people choose their jobs based on the size of the salary offered.（改写题目） Personally, I disagree （这个表达不太好，你要透露出多大程度的意思，哪怕加一个totally也就可以了）with the idea that money is the key consideration when deciding on a career, because I believe that other factors are equally important.（不太客观，肯定有主次之分的）（自己的观点）
On the one hand, I agree that money is necessary in order for people to meet their basic needs. For example, we all need money to pay for housing, food, bills, health care, and education. Most people consider it a priority to at least earn a salary that allows them to cover these needs and have a reasonable quality of life. If people chose（choose） their jobs based on enjoyment or other non-financial factors, they might find it difficult to support themselves. Artists and musicians, for instance, are known for choosing a career path that they love, but that does not always provide them with enough money to live comfortably and raise a family.（先部分肯定题目的观点，欲扬先抑，思路很好）
Nevertheless, I believe that other considerations are just as important as what we earn in our jobs. Firstly, personal relationships and the atmosphere in a workplace are extremely important when choosing a job. Having a good manager or friendly colleagues, for example, can make a huge difference to workers’ levels of happiness and general quality of life. Secondly, many people’s feelings of job satisfaction come from their professional achievements, the skills they learn, and the position they reach, rather than the money they earn. Finally, some people choose a career because they want to help others and contribute something positive to society.（你是分析了其他要考虑的因素，可是它们为什么和工资同样重要呢，你没有分析）
In conclusion, while salaries certainly affect people’s choice of profession, I do not believe that money outweighs all other motivators.
估分：5；
评价：就你的观点而言，分析思路是没有问题的，但是分析的还不够到位。此外，如何确立一个比较恰当的论点，至少要保证你的论点没有明显的错误或者有争议。
估分：5；
评价：就你的观点而言，分析思路是没有问题的，但是分析的还不够到位。此外，如何确立一个比较恰当的论点，至少要保证你的论点没有明显的错误或者有争议。
