International tourism has become the biggest industry in the world.Some people believe the advantages of international tourism outweigh its disadvantages.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
学生原文：
With the improvement of quality of people’s life,an increasing number of people consider traveling as their first option to relax as well as enjoy life and thus redering international tourism become the most popular industry in the world.However,a controversial issue about whether international tourism is advantageous or not has aroused people’s concern.From my perspective,I support the idea that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
It can be said with certainty that international tourism provides a precious opportunity to learn variety of culture of the world.Since each country has its unique culture feature that is totally different from others,only when we start a trip to some foreign countries in person are we able to get a better understanding of local culture and then widen our knowledge and horizon at the same time.By contrast,we could never experience those attractive culture personally without international tourism,not to mention enlarging our insight.
Additionally,the development of international tourism helps to drive the worldwide economy grouth.For example,when people from two different countries make a tour to each other’s nation respectively,the money they spend in foreign country will increase local wealthy and promote currency circulation between this two countries.In the same vein,the assets of the world and worldwide currency ciuculation can also be enhanced due to international tourism as a whole.
However,the negative impacts that international tourism bring to us cannot be ignored.According to a professional survey,thousands of tons of dusbin is found in famous scenic spots after tourists have gone,which is extremely detrimental to the local environment.Besides,although it’s good for people to learn another culture through international tourism,the country will also be confronted with the risk of losing its own culture identity when all of the citizens accept foreign culture but abandon their traditional one.
All in all,we must admit that international tourism indeed do damage to both countries’ environment and the cultural identity,but the overall benefits it produces like promoting the economic development as well as generating prosperous culture of the world seems more essential to us.Thus,it is a advantageours industry rather than a disadvantageous one.
小站教育老师批改后：
With the improvement of quality of people’s life,an increasing number of people consider traveling as their first option to relax as well as enjoy life and thus【一般不连用，都是承上启下的意思】 redering【rendering，有致使的意思但是不太常用】 international tourism become【一句话中不能出现两个动词，become可以去掉】 the most popular industry in the world.However,a controversial issue about whether international tourism is advantageous or not has aroused people’s concern.From my perspective,I support the idea that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
It can be said with certainty that international tourism provides【the tourist with句意较完整】 a precious opportunity to learn variety of culture of the world.【建议参考...to explore the culture diversity...】Since each country has its unique culture【cultural】 feature that【which】is totally different from others, only when we start a trip to some foreign countries in person are we able to get a better understanding of 【the】local culture and then【so as to】 widen our knowledge and horizon【也可以更进一步：broaden our horizon as well as enriching our knowledge】 at the same time. By contrast,we could never experience those attractive culture personally without international tourism,not to mention enlarging our insight.
Additionally,the development of international tourism helps to drive the worldwide economy grouth【growth】.For example,when people from two different countries make a tour【pay a visit】 to each other’s nation respectively,the money they spend in foreign country【counter party's country】 will increase【the】 local wealthy【应该用名词wealth】and promote【facilitate更恰当】currency circulation between this two countries.In the same vein【不太用在开头，虽然表示的意思是“和什么类似”；此处用表原因的连接词应该更恰当，as a result，consequently，thus etc.】,the assets of the world and worldwide currency ciuculation can also be enhanced due to international tourism as a whole.
However,the negative impacts that international tourism【might】bring to us cannot be ignored.According to a professional survey【这种表达比较少，可以说是“可靠的调查 reliable survey ”】,thousands of tons of dusbin【dustbin是垃圾箱的意思，此处应该用wastes】 is【was】 found in 【many】famous scenic spots after tourists have gone,which is extremely detrimental to the local environment.Besides,although it’s good for people to learn another culture through international tourism,the country will also be confronted with the risk of losing its own culture identity when【用if更好】all of the【its指代明确】citizens accept foreign culture but abandon their traditional one.【补充一个可以说的点：be cautious of the taboos in different culture and sometimes tourists do not show enough respect to the local tradition，therefore cases like offending local people and violate local rules are quite common nowadays】
All in all,we must admit that international tourism indeed do damage to both countries’ environment and the cultural identity,but the overall benefits it produces like promoting the economic development as well as generating prosperous culture of the world seems more essential to us.Thus,it is a advantageours industry rather than a disadvantageous one.
预估分数：6.5
评价：
文章的语法基本没有太大问题，能够运用不同的句型这一点很好，虽然有点小词的运用上还有些欠缺但是总体还是可以的。词汇的掌握量不少，但是也要注意要去得当的运用，不能追求华丽而忽略了写文章的最基本的词语使用恰当的要求。建议把握好一些一些细节问题，并通过多阅读，来增加自己观点的丰富度，使得文章可以更进一步，请继续加油！
