Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, but others think the people should have freedom to choose sports activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
学生原文：
The security of sports has long been a controversial issue in recent year. Some people claim that the hazardous sports should be prohibited, while others hold the opinion that people have the right to pursue their hobbies. From my point of view, although players may probably get injuries, these dangerous activities should not be discouraged.
Admittedly, the inescapable fact is that these dangerous sport items, such as racing car, skiing, are more likely to pose a threat to players' safety, including those professional players. The world-renowned Formula One driver whose name is Michael Schumacher, suffered a severe head injury in a skiing accident last year, and has not recovered after a brain surgery so far. Another unfortunate example is Ayrton Senna. As the best Brazilian driver in F1 race history, He died in an accident when he participated in a F1 race competition in 1994. In view of the safety is essential to the players, the appeals against those dangerous sports are reasonable.
On the other side, the dangerous sports have been supported intensively by the sports buffs who claim that it is beneficial to both players and audiences. They believe that some dangerous sports can provide audiences opportunities to enjoy the excitement. Nowadays, people have to be confront with their busy schedules in daily lives. Therefore, for the sake of relaxation, Sports buffs prefer to watch those exciting and dangerous sports programmes. As for players, There is an undeniable fact that players should be much more stronger in both physical and phycological aspects when they have to challenge those difficult sports. In addition, it is also worth mentioning that players are able to earn more money while doing those dangerous shows.
In conclusion, due to the merits of these activities, we should not ban or suspend them. To pay more attention to how to reduce the accident of them may be a sensible choice.
小站教育老师批改后：
The security of sports has long been a controversial issue in recent year. 【背景介绍】Some people claim that the hazardous sports should be prohibited, while others hold the opinion that people have the right to pursue their hobbies.【改写题目】 From my point of view, although players may probably get injuries, (injured)these dangerous activities should not be discouraged.【自己的观点】
第一段写的不错，结构很合理，按照了背景介绍——改写题目——自己的观点来展开。
Admittedly, the inescapable fact is that these dangerous sport items, such as racing car, skiing, are more likely to pose a threat to players' safety, including those professional players. The world-renowned Formula One driver whose name is Michael Schumacher, suffered a severe head injury in a skiing accident last year, and has not recovered after a brain surgery so far. Another unfortunate example is Ayrton Senna. As the best Brazilian driver in F1 race history, He died in an accident when he participated in a F1 race competition in 1994. In view of the safety is essential to the players, the appeals against those dangerous sports are reasonable.
这一段其实分析的可以更多一点，例子举一个就够了。
On the other side, the dangerous sports have been supported intensively by the sports buffs who claim that it is beneficial to both players and audiences. They believe that some dangerous sports can provide audiences opportunities to enjoy the excitement. Nowadays, people have to be 【去掉，confront with】confront with their busy schedules in daily lives. Therefore, for the sake of relaxation, Sports buffs prefer to watch those exciting and dangerous sports programmes. As for players, There is an undeniable fact that players should be much more stronger in both physical and phycological aspects when they have to challenge those difficult sports. In addition, it is also worth mentioning that players are able to earn more money while doing those dangerous shows. 【这一段你讲了选择危险性运动的好处，可是文章要你论述地是人们有自由选择各自体育运动的权利，对于这个你没有论述。至少说你没有提到自由这个字眼】
In conclusion, due to the merits of these activities, we should not ban or suspend them. 【论述了危险运动的两面，可是你没有点出哪一方面占主导，就直接说不应该禁止，有点突兀】To pay more attention to how to reduce the accident of them may be a sensible choice.【这个建议是好的】
估分：6
评价：你的英语基本功不错，基本没有什么词汇和语法的错误。但是文章的论述结构和思路还不是很好，针对性不强。
