Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
学生原文：
As the modern society develops, we are paying more and more attention to keeping the students strong and healthy. At this time, physical exercise is getting important, this is where the controversy arises. Many people consider that the students should spend all their time on academic studies. This idea is opposed by numerous people saying that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. As far as I am concerned ,I agree with the latter one.
The first reason I want to put forward is that doing some exercise everyday is a great way to relax ourselves. I have a friend named Lucy, she never enjoyed working out and stayed in a cluttered room to study all day. Later she was overwhelmed by the stress she had been suffering and began to be frustrated and uncomfortable. Later, I advised her to go running with me, as she ran, she thought that she was flying and have nothing to worry about. After that, she felt fresh because all the pressure for studies she had had was all gone. What's more, some outdoor exercise is a wonderful opportunity for we students to embrace the nature. We can see some cotton-like clouds gliding through the blue sky, below that is a field of emerald colored grass surrounded by a clear, glittering river. Some vivacious animals frolicked about, what a harmony!
Another reason I want to convey is that regular exercises can train our bodies. By doing some running, swimming and sit-ups several times a week, my heart will get much stronger and I can gain more muscles. Those are the advantages which students who don't usually do physical exercises will never get. In addition, keeping in shape is also a great benefit.
Nowadays, a large amount of students eat many sugary and fatty food without doing proper exercise. This leads directly to obesity which is a serious threat to the students' health.So it is vital for schools to arrange necessary activities for their students in order to make living a healthy lifestyle a habit for them.
However, the minor disadvantages can not be left out even though tremendous advantages lies in working out everyday. First, this may take some time so that they have less time to study,their grades may get worse. Another drawback is that injuries can't be avoided in those exercises. For instance, damaging muscles, breaking bones. If the teachers can teach their students to do warm-ups and be careful in those activities,many injuries can be avoided.
With all the reasons mentioned above, it is apparent to draw the conclusion that having physical exercises as part of a school day is definitely beneficial. Only if the teachers and parents can work together to lead the students to proper exercise everyday, more and more students can live a healthy and joyful life.
小站教育老师批改后：
As the modern society develops, we are paying more and more attention to keeping the students strong and healthy. At this time, physical exercise is getting important, this is where the controversy arises. Many people consider that the students should spend all their time on academic studies. This idea is opposed by numerous people saying that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. As far as I am concerned ,I agree with the latter one. 【模板有些老而且首段略显单薄 但中规中矩如题快 亮的观点也明确 下次记得多花些心思在句型 词汇上面做好门面效果会更好哦】
The first reason I want to put forward is that doing some exercise everyday is a great way to relax ourselves.【可有可无主观性的表述尽量不要出现在分论点里一定要做好面子活】 I have a friend named Lucy, she never enjoyed working out and stayed in a cluttered room to study all day. Later she was overwhelmed by the stress she had been suffering【删掉吧 没有太多的意思】 and began to be frustrated and uncomfortable. Later, I advised her to go running with me, as she ran, she thought that she was flying and have 【had] nothing to worry about. After that, she felt fresh because all the pressure for studies she had had was all gone. What's more, some outdoor exercise is a wonderful opportunity for we students to embrace the nature. We can see some cotton-like clouds gliding through the blue sky, below that is a field of emerald colored grass surrounded by a clear, glittering river. Some vivacious animals frolicked about, what a harmony!【例子部分下次精炼点 要总结;后面的道理部分 太匆匆 不管是论证还是语言;注意论证比例】
Another reason I want to convey is that regular exercises can train our bodies.【分论据这点总洁性要强 而且尽量要出】 By doing some running, swimming and sit-ups several times a week, my heart will get much stronger and I can gain more muscles. Those are the advantages which students who don't usually do physical exercises will never get.【凑字数呢】 In addition, keeping in shape is also a great benefit.Nowadays, a large amount of students eat many sugary and fatty food without doing proper exercise. This leads directly to obesity which is a serious threat to the students' health.So it is vital for schools to arrange necessary activities for their students in order to make living a healthy lifestyle a habit for them. 论证方面不是特别擅长 真的需要加强 方法举例 解释说理 对比 每段采用一个 然后流线型绕啊绕 其实就是那么回事
However, the minor disadvantages can not be left out even though tremendous advantages lies in working out everyday. First, this may take some time so that they 【will】 have less time to study,their grades may get worse. Another drawback is that injuries can't be avoided in those exercises. For instance, damaging muscles, breaking bones. If the teachers can teach their students to do warm-ups and be careful in those activities,many injuries can be avoided.
With all the reasons mentioned above, it is apparent to draw the conclusion that having physical exercises as part of a school day is definitely beneficial.【不要太绝对】 Only if the teachers and parents can work together to lead the students to proper exercise everyday, more and more students can live a healthy and joyful life.【倒装啊】
写作文头疼，字数不够思路没有是吧？字数不够用例子，对比、解释、名言肯定更容易凑字数；思路没有没事的时候上上网，看些新闻简介，或者看一些话题讨论、或者辩论赛，时间紧张了就上网搜一些观点，没事多总结想想，时间久了就好了，表达上，关键部分在借鉴一下优秀论文的分论点句；熟练你就得心应手了。废话不多说 祝考试顺利哦。
