In some big cities, people plan to knock down old buildings in order to make space for new development. Is it a positive or a negative trend?
学生原文：
To develop the urbanization, many citires prefer to building modern architectures instead of keeping old ones, since traditional buildings can not match to the cities' modern images and they take up too much space. However, opponents argue that vitually, it's not a positive trend to society.
First, considering the culture value, architectures in traditional styles can preserve and carry forward the traditional cultures. For example, the traditional courtyard houses in Beijing standardize the tradional lifestyle several hundred years ago which effectively boost the relationship among the families. Morever, the artistic and aesthetic value should be taken in to account as well. Compared to the modern concrete and cement constructions, these old building, such as thatched houses and baroque buildings in Europe, achieve high status in artists' and architects' minds.
Admittedly, it's understandable that some advocate that modern buildings should take the place of old ones since they cannot accommodate a growing population in the wave of urbanization. Certainly, a traditional courtyard house could only afford three or four families at most, while a high rise or an apartment building could afford at least 30 families. Therefore, traditional buildings are not so practical in function as the modern ones and they should be put down to make space for new ones. However, if the government can take both sides into account and manage the city construction reasonably, we can not only preserve these traditional buildings, but also build new modern ones to meet the increasing demand.
In conclusion, taking away the traditional style with cultural and artistic values is not a sensible method to develop urbanization. Therefore, it's suggested that city authority should take the local cultural identity and social needs into consideration. In this way, in cultural significant areas traditional architectures are preferred, while in the newly developed residential, modern design should be put as priority.
小站教育老师批改后：
To develop the urbanization, many citires (cities) prefer to building (build) modern architectures instead of keeping old ones, since traditional buildings can not match to (with) the cities' modern images and they take up too much space. However, opponents argue that vitually, it's not a positive trend to society.（加上一句：I will explore both sides of knocking down old buildings或者直接写出你自己的观点，你认为是积极的发展还是消极的发展）否则和正文部分的衔接不够自然，会有点突兀。
First（出现了first,下面却没有了second,third等表示顺序的词，结构上有点不严谨）, considering the culture value, architectures in traditional styles can preserve and carry forward the traditional cultures. For example, the traditional courtyard houses in Beijing standardize the tradional lifestyle several hundred years ago which effectively boost the relationship among the families. Morever, the artistic and aesthetic value should be taken in to account as well. （这个论点没有说服力，古老建筑不一定就代表建筑美学，现代建筑也可以）Compared to the modern concrete and cement constructions, these old building(buildings), such as thatched houses and baroque buildings in Europe, achieve high status in artists' and architects' minds.（一段里面出现两个中心句不太好，或者说重点不够突出）
Admittedly, it's understandable that some advocate that modern buildings should take the place of old ones since they cannot accommodate a growing population in the wave of urbanization. Certainly, a traditional courtyard house could only afford three or four families at most, while a high rise or an apartment building could afford at least 30 families. Therefore, traditional buildings are not so practical in function as the modern ones and they should be put down to make space for new ones. However, if the government can take both sides into account and manage the city construction reasonably, we can not only preserve these traditional buildings, but also build new modern ones to meet the increasing demand.（这句话不要放在这一段，你这一段就讲现代建筑的好处）
In conclusion, taking away the traditional style with cultural and artistic values is not a sensible method to develop urbanization. Therefore, it's suggested that city authority should take the local cultural identity and social needs into consideration. In this way, in cultural significant areas traditional architectures are preferred, while in the newly developed residential, modern design should be put as priority.
估分：5
评价：文章结构不严谨，论点不够有说服力。同时一些低级错误有点多，继加油。
