Universities should accpet equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
学生原文：
In the modern society, more and more high school students prefer to study inuniversity instead of vocational school when some students apply theuniversity, a problem occurs. They will find some universities do not acceptequal number of male and female in every subject. Should the universitiesaccept the equal number of male and female? That is where the question it is.
Firstand foremost, on the one hand, accepting the same number of the applicants fromdifferent sexual can be seen as a kind of respect to the human right. It isalso reflects the sexual equality. Secondly, the equal number of males andfemales can help to build sexual balanced environment. After they graduate fromthe university, they can contribute the balanced new power to different industries.Also, the students with the balanced sex can cooperate more effectively due tothe complementary advantages, which is helpful in their study process.
Onthe other hand, there are also some reasons for not accepting equal numbers ofmale and female. Firstly, both male and female have its own expert areas. Forinstance, males are accomplished in abstract thinking and logic mind, which areextremely crucial in Math and Physics. Females are good at imaginal thinking sothe task of designing and literature are easy for them. Regarding thediversified features between the different sex, accepting more males in theirexpert areas is a method to utilize the human resources. The aim of it is tobetter improve and perfect the society.
Accordingto these discussions, I think the universities should accept the equal numberof male and female in most of the subjects. It indicates everyone can have thesame opportunities and it also shows a kind of justice. In some specialsubjects, the universities can design the special plan according to thesituation to make the best use of the human resources.
小站教育老师批改后：
In the （去掉，society之前一般不加冠词）modern society, more and more high school students prefer to study inuniversity instead of vocational school when some students apply theuniversity, a problem occurs. （这句话意思冗杂）They will find some universities do not acceptequal number of male and female in every subject. Should the universitiesaccept the equal number of male and female? （这句话你改变了题目的意思，不可取。男女生总数相同不代表每个科目的男女生认识相同。反之成立。一定要严谨）That is where the question it is.
你要给出你自己的观点或者是对正文部分的简介。这样跟下文才会衔接的更紧密。不然考官会觉得正文内容来的有点突兀。
记住，第一段的三个层次：背景介绍——改写题目——自己的观点或者是对正文部分的简介。
Firstand foremost, on the one hand, accepting the same number of the applicants fromdifferent sexual can be seen as a kind of respect to the human right. It isalso reflects the sexual equality. Secondly, the equal number of males andfemales can help to build sexual balanced environment. After they graduate fromthe university, they can contribute the balanced new power to different industries.Also, the students with the balanced sex can cooperate more effectively due tothe complementary advantages, which is helpful in their study process.（你这一段的三层意思之间没有联系，层次性不够明显，要么把这三层意思按照一定的内在联系排列，要么分段写，每段写一个意思，着重阐述。但是同样重要注意布局，最好可以层层递进）
Onthe other hand, there are also some reasons for not accepting equal numbers ofmale and female. Firstly, （你这一段就写了一个原因，不要用firstly，另外reasons用的也不合适）both male and female have its own expert areas. Forinstance, males are accomplished in abstract thinking and logic mind, which areextremely crucial in Math and Physics. Females are good at imaginal thinking sothe task of designing and literature are easy for them. Regarding thediversified features between the different sex, accepting more males in theirexpert areas is a method to utilize the human resources. The aim of it is tobetter improve and perfect the society.
Accordingto these discussions, I think the universities should accept（你的观点的原因是什么？你的作文部分并没有体现出来，也就是没有看错你的重点）the equal numberof male and female in most of the subjects. It indicates everyone can have thesame opportunities and it also shows a kind of justice. In some specialsubjects, the universities can design the special plan according to thesituation to make the best use of the human resources.
估分：5
评价：
1.这一类To what extent do you agree or disagree?的题目，论证思路是：着重阐述你同意或者不同意的一方面，不要两面阐述。然后再点出To what extent 的内容。
2.文章那边结构不够严谨，还出现了前后矛盾不一致的情况。
