There is no reason to be impolite (rude) to another person.
学生原文：
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”, said by Charles Dickens from the beginning of ‘A Tale of Two Cities’. Apparently, we benefited a lot from the vastly developing society and seize every possible opportunity to promote our life qualities in such a blossom. It is true that we ought to be grateful to those benefits brought by this era, but we terribly need to look carefully at our internal construction. Simply stated, we tend to behave more impolitely than in the past, for we are too conceited to care about the way we are when interacting with others. From my perspective, there is no reason to be impolite to another person.
Initially, we ought to understand others since we are not raised by the same way. According to the survey made by China Daily, 75 percent of people had impolite behaviors only if they are following the rule serving others with the same sauce. Also, in the same survey, the first reaction of receiving impolite treatments is being impolite to the corresponding persons. However, people might not notice a key issue that we are actually different persons, living in varied circumstances, receiving unlike educations, and etc. Sometimes others may not intentionally be impolite to you, but you just firmly believing that they are intended to do so. In this way, a vicious circle emerged. Even worse, people began to embrace this impolite way of treating others, for they think the novel world hankers for a distinctive way for interactions. But why cannot we learn from Gandhi and try to be polite to another person? Are we not mature enough to accept the perception that if we were all polite and then this world will become ideal? I think, the answer is no. Thus, it is the high time that we should acknowledge that by no means can we be impolite to another person.
Plus, being impolite is least likely to solve problems in modern civilization. Lacking of efficient and appropriate avenues, people in the past were forced to use impolite methods to solve problems on daily issues. Thanks to the variously developing technology, we are provided with monumental accesses, such as writing emails, sending texts, making phone calls, and etc. Also, problem can be solved more appropriately through those methods, for we could take time to arrange our words and to avoid impolite behaviors. Take my personal experience as a typical example. Last month, I attended an alumni association and met my high school classmates. We have not met each other after the graduation, so we were all excited and wild with joy. Inevitably, a male classmate argued with another female classmate over a very subtle thing. Before their being impolite, we mediate between them and suggested them to use text messages for communication since we all had cellphones. It turned out that, they stopped their arguments and apologized to each other for their inappropriateness.
Based on those discussions mentioned above, I think, there is by no means possible reason to be impolite to another person, for we lack of rights to do so and we cannot solve problems through this way.
小站教育老师批改后：
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”, said by Charles Dickens from [at或in] the beginning of ‘A Tale of Two Cities’. Apparently, we benefited a lot from the vastly developing society and seize every possible opportunity to promote our life qualities in such a blossom. It is true that we ought to be grateful to those benefits brought by this era, but we terribly need to look carefully at our internal construction. Simply stated, we tend to behave more impolitely than in the past, [上下接的不错，还担心你前面和后面会有很大的gap呢] for we are too conceited to care about the way we are [are去掉] when [when去掉] interacting with others. From my perspective, there is no reason to be impolite to another person. [建议把开头段写短一些]
Initially, we ought to understand others since we are not raised by the same way. According to the survey made by China Daily, 75 percent of people had impolite behaviors only if they are following the rule serving others with the same sauce. Also, in the same survey, the first reaction of receiving impolite treatments is being impolite to the corresponding persons. However, people might not notice a key issue that we are actually different persons, living in varied circumstances, receiving unlike educations, and etc. Sometimes others may not intentionally be impolite to you, but you just firmly believing [原形] that they are intended to do so. [这个点分析不错，也很新颖] In this way, a vicious circle emerged. Even worse, people began to embrace this impolite way of treating others, for they think the novel world hankers for a distinctive way for interactions. But why cannot we learn from Gandhi and try to be polite to another person? Are we not mature enough to accept the perception that if we were all polite and then this world will become ideal? I think, the answer is no. Thus, it is the high time that we should acknowledge that by no means can we be impolite to another person. [其实，你前面的展开已经说明了你这个主题句了，甘地那部分就可以不要，论据太长显得比较累赘不干净。或者你前面的分析部分就该简短一些。 比如一句话可以表达好几个意思，the philosophy of being impolite to others anchors on the perception that…]
Plus, being impolite is least likely to solve problems in modern civilization. Lacking of efficient and appropriate avenues, people in the past were forced to use impolite methods to solve problems on daily issues. Thanks to the variously developing technology, we are provided with monumental accesses, such as writing emails, sending texts, making phone calls, and etc. Also, problem can be solved more appropriately through those methods, [thanks到这里的部分可以用一句话简洁地表达的，就可以省掉一些字了。自己先想想把] for we could take time to arrange our words and to avoid impolite behaviors. Take my personal experience as a typical example. Last month, I attended an alumni association and met my high school classmates. We have not met each other after the graduation, so we were all excited and wild with joy. Inevitably, a male classmate argued with another female classmate over a very subtle thing. Before their being impolite, we mediate between them and suggested them to use text messages for communication since we all had cellphones. [读到这个例子的感觉就是这样真的可以解决么?个人觉得有些牵强] It turned out that, they stopped their arguments and apologized to each other for their inappropriateness.
Based on those discussions mentioned above, I think, there is by no means possible reason to be impolite to another person, for we lack of rights to do so and we cannot solve problems through this way.
预估：3.6分段
首先是你要控制一下字数了，你写的太长了，而且论据之间也很不平衡，显得啰嗦累赘了哈。
开头段要好好下功夫，既要不遵循模板，又要较为简洁，这个需要好好动脑子了。
你的文章啰嗦的部分原因是表达比较啰嗦，有的是表达本身用词等累赘，有的是你形成了习惯。你要尽快找准原因，对症下药。
