Title:In today’s world,it is private companies rather than government who pay for and carry out most on scientific research.Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
学生原文：
Thanks to the scientific research carried out either by government or by private companies,we are able to enjoy and advanced and technical life.Nowadays,it seems that government is losing its controlling power when comparing with the private companies.In another word,private companies are playing the key role in scientific research rather than government.There will be a detailed analysis.
Scientific research will gain much more financial support if being taken over by private companies.Companies always have capacity to invest large amount of money on the research than the government do.Those sponsorship will lay solid financial foundation for the process of the researching field.Undoubtly,without sufficient fund,any scientific research will hardly be carried out.
However,apart from the benefit,there are still several potential threats once the private companies manage the scientific research.Firstly,the stability of the global economy will be influenced to a large extent if companies of one country sell those research achievement to another at a high price.As we know,acquiring profits is always the most essential thing in the eyes of the merchants.Once they raise the price of the product consciously,some related products’ price will also increase and thus will eventually resulting in currency inflation.
More importantly,there comes the research that violate the morality of the society.For example,the clone man,which is prohibited by the worldwide law,may appear one day if the right of operating scientific research comes down to the private companies.Just imagine,if people walking in the street have the same face,how chaotic our society will be.
To summarize,I believe the disadvantages of scientific research paid and carried out by private companies outweigh its advantages.No matter how much funding those companies could provide,the economy stability as well as the human morality cannot be disobedient.
小站教育老师批改后：
Thanks to the scientific research carried out either by government or by private companies,we are able to enjoy and advanced and technical life.Nowadays,it seems that government is losing its controlling power when comparing (compared)with the private companies.In another word,private companies are playing the key role in scientific research rather than government.There will be a detailed analysis.【具体分析什么，你要说出来。是分析原因还是优缺点】
Scientific research will gain much more financial support if being taken over by private companies.【这个中心句很有必要，容易让孔考官知道你写的是什么】Companies always have capacity to invest (a) large amount of money on the research than the government do.Those sponsorship will lay solid financial foundation for the process of the researching field.Undoubtly,without sufficient fund,any scientific research will hardly be carried out.
However,apart from the benefit,there are still several potential threats ?once the private companies manage the scientific research.Firstly,【出现它，下面最好出现secondly,,,这样的结构才更完整】the stability of the global economy will be influenced to a large extent if companies of one country sell those research achievement to another at a high price.As we know,acquiring profits is always the most essential thing in the eyes of the merchants.Once they raise the price of the product consciously,some related products’ price will also increase and thus will eventually resulting in currency inflation.
More importantly,there comes the research that violate the morality of the society.For example,the clone man,which is prohibited by the worldwide law,may appear one day if the right of operating scientific research comes down to the private companies.Just imagine,if people walking in the street have the same face,how chaotic our society will be.【这一段应该跟在上一段的后面，不然上一段的威胁只有一个，但是你的中心句是说有多个，这样的结构是不可以的】
To summarize,I believe【这种第一人称的句式少出现，不够客观】the disadvantages of scientific research paid and carried out by private companies outweigh its advantages.No matter how much funding those companies could provide,the economy stability as well as the human morality cannot be disobedient.【最后一段总结的还是蛮到位的】
估分：6
评价：这篇文章最大的问题就是锻炼内部的结构不够紧密，连贯性不强，这是大忌。比较好的地方就是中心思想中心句你比较突出，继续保持。
