Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The food we ate in the past was healthier than the food we eat today.
学生原文：
The world we are living in is changing and developing everyday, which means, in some over-optimistic people's view, the quality of the food and the nutrition in them is better too. There is no doubt that the modern food produce process is almost fully developed, but that does not mean the food we eat today is healthier then that we ate in the past. The foods in the past were better because they were grew without using pesticide; the environment the food grew in, especially the vegetables, are cleaner and purer and the foods had not suffered the long-way transportation which may enable the bacteria to propagate. Here are some supporting details.
First of all, the vegetables, one major kind of food, were growing in the none-pesticide soil in the past, which means vegetables growing at that time were totally unpolluted and did no harm to human when they ate the vegetables. On the contrary, the modern growing method is using huge amount of pesticide and other biochemistry products to help vegetables to grow faster in order the farm can harvest them. In addition, some farmers are growing so-called organic vegetables whose genes have been modified. This method seems to largely increase the production of vegetables, however, they could lead to lots of unknown consequences because human have not totally revealed the meanings of genetic code and we cannot fully control the result of change part of their genes. In conclusion, the food we ate in the past has less interference of human and they were healthier.
Secondly, in the past, the environment of agriculture was better than that today. For example, when I was only four years old, the sky is pure-blue, the air is fresh and there are only a few cars on the road. What's more, the water in the river is very clean and they had not suffered the industry pollution. So it is obviously that the food is cleaner than food produced now.
Finally, almost all the foods we eat today are not produced natively which means they have probably undergone the long-time transportation. Although the modern-time food transport systems are claimed that they are safe, bacteria and other gems may still can utilize the time to do harm to the food. For example, one kind of yogurt being sold in the supermarket have been detected that they have a kind of virus that is harmful to human because the yogurts are imported. What makes this affair much worse is that the yogurts have been sold for a long time and lots of people already drink them. But in the past, there were even no the long-time transportation because people only ate the products that produced natively.
To sum up, because of these reasons, I believe that the food we ate long time ago is better to health than what we eat today.
小站教育老师批改后：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The food we ate in the past was healthier than the food we eat today.
The world we are living in is changing and developing everyday, which【which指代不明，改为that】means, in some over-optimistic people's view, the quality of the food【这个food只是过去的食物还是现在的食物，语义不明】 and the nutrition in them is better too. There is no doubt that the modern food produce【改为production】process is almost fully developed, but that does not mean the food we eat today is healthier then【改为than】that we ate in the past【请明确表述这是自己的观点】The foods in the past were better because they were【删除，不用被动语态】 grew without using pesticide; the environment the food grew in, especially the vegetables, are cleaner and purer and the foods had not suffered the long-way transportation which may enable the bacteria to propagate. Here are some supporting details【论证性的内容不要放在第一段的Introduction中，要在后面的论证段中表述。】
First of all, the vegetables, one major kind of food, were growing【改为grew】in the none-pesticide soil in the past, which means vegetables growing at that time were totally unpolluted and did no harm to human when they ate the vegetables【啰嗦，删除】. On the contrary, the modern growing method is using huge amount of pesticide and other biochemistryproducts to help vegetables to grow faster in order the farm can harvest them【改为：to have a larger production】. In addition, some farmers are growing so-called organic vegetables whose genes have been modified. This method seems to largely increase【改为: seems largely increased】 the production of vegetables, however, they could lead to lots of unknown consequences because human have not totally revealed the meanings of genetic code and we cannot fully control the result of change【改为: the changed】 part of their genes. In conclusion, the food we ate in the past has less interference of【改为: to】 human and they were healthier.
Secondly, in the past, the environment of agriculture was better than that today. For example, when I was only four years old, the sky is pure-blue, the air is fresh and there are only a few【改为few,注意下few和a few的区别】 cars on the road. What's more, the water in the river is very clean and they had not suffered the industry pollution. So it is obviously【乖，这里要用形容词，改为obvious】 that the food is cleaner than food produced now.
Finally, almost all the foods we eat today are not produced natively which means they have probably undergone the long-time transportation. Although the modern-time food transport systems are claimed that they are safe, bacteria and other gems may still can utilize the time to do harm to the food. For example, one kind of yogurt being sold in the supermarket have been detected that they have a kind of virus that is harmful to human because the yogurts are imported. What makes this affair much worse is that the yogurts have been sold for a long time and lots of people already drink them. But in the past, there were even no the【删除】long-time transportation because people only ate the products that produced natively.
To sum up, because of these reasons, I believe that the food we ate long time ago is better to health than what we eat today. 【结论观点表述较为明确~】
Introduction部分不要写论证性的内容，论证性的内容要放在论证段。
本文的两个论证段内容相近，没有从不同的角度进行论证。
建以从污染和运输两个角度分开进行论证，第二段吧污染和运输放在一起了。
继续加油！
