Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to attract good students, a university should spend a lot of money funding social activities.
学生原文：
Recently, there has been a controversial topic debated by a great number of people about whether a university should pay more emphasis on social activities. While many people might advocate that it is a waste of money to steer more funds toward social activities, I personally believe that social activities are not only of benefit to the reputation of the university, but also be conductive to students’ social network.
First of all, social activities serve as an important catalyst for the improvement of a university’s reputation. For example, the Southern University of Science and Technology of China, was established in 2011. Although the university possesses sufficient teaching facilities and a great amount of renowned professors, few top students chose to enter the university at the very beginning since few students had ever heard about it. Under such terrible situation, the university invited well-known scholars and celebrities to visit the campus, asked potential students to experience the academic atmosphere, eventually be appreciated by the society and attracted plenty of top students in the second year. In such aspects, funding social activities is a great strategy to improve a university’s reputation.
Another reason is that social activities can significantly facilitate a student’s social network. By joining all kinds of social activities, students can communicate will various type of students and thus make a variety of friends. Take my own experience as an example, I cycled to Tibet with expedition society during my first summer vacation. Not only did I gain the opportunity to appreciate the amazing landscape alongside the road, But also got a chance to associated with a group of brand young men who later became my best friends in the university. In this sense, social activities provide students with more chances to meet more friends, thus give them more opportunities to open the gate to success. Therefore, more top students will be attracted to this university because of its amazing educational achievement.
Admittedly, pouring more funds on social activities can increase the university’s financial burden. However, the university can ask some companies to sponsor its social activities, which is of benefits to the university as well as the companies. An illustrating example is that Li Ning, a sports company, pays for the running race of my universities every year. Therefore, our university can organize the race without worrying about its financial situation. And the sports company create a great deal of money by students’ consumption during the race.
In a nutshell, considering all these above, it is undeniable that social activities are essentially helpful for a university to attract top students.
小站教育老师批改后：
Recently, there has been a controversial topic debated by a great number of people about whether a university should pay more emphasis on social activities. While many people might advocate that it is a waste of money to steer more funds toward social activities, I personally believe that social activities are not only of benefit to the reputation of the university, but also be conductive to students’ social network.
First of all, social activities serve as an important catalyst for the improvement of a university’s reputation. For example, the Southern University of Science and Technology of China, was established in 2011. Although the university possesses sufficient teaching facilities and a great amount of renowned professors, few top students chose to enter the university at the very beginning since few students had ever heard about it. Under such terrible situation, the university invited well-known scholars and celebrities to visit the campus, asked potential students to experience the academic atmosphere, eventually be appreciated by the society and attracted plenty of top students in the second year. In such aspects, funding social activities is a great strategy to improve a university’s reputation. 【这段举例写的蛮不错的，虽然论述比较少，但是很充实】
Another reason is that social activities can significantly facilitate a student’s social network. By joining all kinds of social activities, students can communicate will 【with】various type【s】of students and thus make a variety of friends. Take my own experience as an example, 【.】 I cycled to Tibet with expedition society【community】 during my first summer vacation. Not only did I gain the opportunity to appreciate the amazing landscape alongside the road, But【but I】also got a chance to associated with a group of brand young men who later became my best friends in the university. In this sense, social activities provide students with more chances to meet more friends, thus give them more opportunities to open the gate to success. Therefore, more top students will be attracted to this university because of its amazing educational achievement.
Admittedly, pouring more funds on social activities can increase the university’s financial burden. However, the university can ask some companies to sponsor its social activities, which is of benefits【beneficial】 to the university as well as the companies. An illustrating example is that Li Ning, a sports company, pays for the running race of my universities every year. Therefore, our university can organize the race without worrying about its financial situation. And the sports company create【s】 a great deal of money by students’ consumption during the race. 【这个还是写在同学中引起更大轰动，拉进消费吧，在比赛中的消费肯定不能和赞助对等的】
In a nutshell, considering all these above, it is undeniable that social activities are essentially helpful for a university to attract top students.
预估分数：
25
写的很不错，语言流畅，例子的表述很不错，逻辑性很强，第三段的补充说明也很不错。注意一下细节的错误就好。一定能考个好成绩哒~
