Some people think that children should start school as early as possible, while others believe that they should start school at the age of severn. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.
学生原文：
As is known, primary education is really important to a kid ehrn kids are led to absorb knowledge and basic learning skills are gained in this stage. An argument proposed by a number of people that it will be better for kids if they can receive education from school as early as possible. However opponents contend that kids ought to start primary education at least at seven years old. As for my opinion, it will be more reasonable for a child to go to school at seven.
Advantages may exist if children start school education before seven, however potential drawbacks outweigh the positive effects. Receiving school education at an early age may be thought to enable kids to learn more than other peers and thus enjoy competitive advantages in the future. Also children's curiosity can be be used. On the contrary, according some researches, there are a deficiency of self-control and a strong sense of self-centralisation and selfish found on those kids. For these matters, they are unlikely to obey all the rules and regulations posted in class. It can be also really hard for them to concentrate on the textbooks or contents what teachers are talking about. Furthermorem the school rules will restrict their freedo, and may prevent them from enjoying a wonderful childhood. Therefore being exposed to a load of homework and being forced to follow the rules at such a young age may not be so good to these kids.
Different from kid younger than seven, certain characteristics owned by children ar age of seven are believed to make them learn more and perform better. Firstly curiosity also exists together with creativity. These capabilities will generate dramatic inspirations if they are well utilisedd and guided to. In addition, certain self-control has been awared and a certain degree of independence has been achieved. For example, at this age they at least know they should listen to teachers carefully and they should be able to hold pencils to write down their names. Benefiting from these, it will be much easier for teachers to supervise the whole class. Moreover, having their own ideas about a certain subject will lead them to acquire what is taught faster.
In conclusion, on the basis of reasons stated above, starting prmary education at seven will more reasonable to children.
小站教育老师批改后：
As is known, primary education is really important to a kid ehrn kids are led to absorb knowledge and basic learning skills are gained in this stage. 【这句话怎么断句的啊？】【背景介绍】An argument proposed by a number of people that it will be better for kids if they can receive education from school as early as possible. However opponents contend that kids ought to start primary education at least at seven years old.【改写题目】As for my opinion, it will be more reasonable for a child to go to school at seven.【自己的观点】
第一段就要按照这样的结构去写，背景介绍——改写题目——自己的观点（对正文部分内容的简介）。
Advantages may exist if children start school education before seven, however potential drawbacks outweigh the positive effects. Receiving school education at an early age may be thought to enable kids to learn more than other peers and thus enjoy competitive advantages in the future. Also children's curiosity can be be used. On the contrary, according some researches, there are a deficiency of self-control and a strong sense of self-centralisation and selfish (selfishness)found on those kids. For these matters, they are unlikely to obey all the rules and regulations posted in class. It can be also really hard for them to concentrate on the textbooks or contents what teachers are talking about. Furthermorem (furthermore) the school rules will restrict their freedo,(freedom) and may prevent them from enjoying a wonderful childhood. Therefore being exposed to a load of homework and being forced to follow the rules at such a young age may not be so good to these kids.
Different from kid (those kids) younger than seven, certain characteristics owned by children ar age of seven are believed to make them learn more and perform better. Firstly curiosity also exists together with creativity. These capabilities will generate dramatic inspirations if they are well utilisedd and guided to. In addition, certain self-control has been awared and a certain degree of independence has been achieved. For example, at this age they at least know they should listen to teachers carefully and they should be able to hold pencils to write down their names. Benefiting from these, it will be much easier for teachers to supervise the whole class. Moreover, having their own ideas about a certain subject will lead them to acquire what is taught faster.
In conclusion, on the basis of reasons stated above, starting prmary education at seven will more reasonable to children.【需要先把之前讨论的东西总结一下，再点出自己的观点。最后还应该加上自己的一点建议】
估分：7-7.5
评价：这篇文章论证地思路非常清晰，每一段的中心思想也很突出，不错，有力地支持了中心论点。把最后一段再加工一下会更好。
