Question: Some students like to take distance-learning class by computer.Other students prefer to study in traditional classroom settings with a teacher.Consider the advantage of both options, and make an argument for the way that student should organize their schedules.
学生原文：
As for me, I prefer to study in a traditional classroom where I can interact with my professors and my classmates.It is my belief that this will provide a more advantageous environment for study when compare to “far-distance learning”.
First, I find it is easier to concentrate when I am in a real classroom than before a screen at home all on my own.I have taken online courses but I found them uninspiring .In the courses I can only see the teacher unclearly through a small screen and he could not see me at all.I knew I had “classmates” who take the course at the same time with me,but I had no idea who they were.Gradually, I lost interest in the class .Knowing nobody would see me,I began to do something else while pretending to listen to the teacher.
Second, I the professor is performing an experiment in the class, then i believe it is better to watch watch it live.The difference of watching an experiment in a lab to watching one on computers is comparable to the difference between taking a trip to an unknown land or just looking at the pictures of the destination. A real life experience allows people visualize the information which develope deeper cognitive understanding of the desired knowledge.
Also,I believe it is very important to have topical discussion with my professors and my classmates.Class discussion allows deeper understanding of the academic material. The repetition of the information and synthesis of ideas allow longer term memory of the material Sometimes I am able to correct the information I misheard in the former class by discussion.More importantly, if I get the chance to talk to the professor, I can get more detailed explanations. It is surely a precious experience to talk to somebody who has the same course as I do.It is even more exhilarating to talk with those who who teach you.This type of experience is not achievable in distance-learning class.
Distance learning class is convenient if a specific class is only provided elsewhere.But when given a choice,I believe a traditional class in a classroom is more efficient and interesting method of instructional delivery.
小站教育老师批改后：
As for me, I prefer to study in a traditional classroom where I can interact with my professors and my classmates[两个My可以去掉~].It is my belief that this will provide a more advantageous environment for study when compare[compared] to “far-distance learning”. 【开头比较简略，如果不看题目仍旧不太清楚你要议论的主题和你自己的观点;有改进空间，建议多读范文做出改进】
First, I find it is easier to concentrate when I am in a real classroom than before[见下] a screen at home all on my own. I have taken online courses but I found them uninspiring. In the courses I can only see the teacher unclearly through a small screen and he could not see me at all. I knew I had“classmates” who take the course at the same time with me, but I had no idea who they were. Gradually, I lost interest in the class. Knowing nobody would see me, I began to do something else while pretending to listen to the teacher.[时态]【例子举得不错，但是语言表达欠佳】
Second, I the professor is[???] performing an experiment in the class, then i believe it is better to watch watch it live. The difference of[between] watching an experiment in a lab to[and][见下] watching one on computers is comparable to the difference between[同上] taking a trip to an unknown land or just looking at the pictures of the destination. A real life experience allows people [to][见下] visualize the information which develope[develop] deeper cognitive understanding of the desired knowledge.
Also, I believe it is very important to have topical discussion with my professors and my classmates. Class discussion allows deeper understanding of the academic material[academic materials]. The repetition of the information and synthesis of ideas allow longer term memory of the material Sometimes I am able to correct the information I misheard in the former class by discussion. More importantly, if I get the chance to talk to the professor, I can get more detailed explanations. It is surely a precious experience to talk to somebody who has the same course as I do. It is even more exhilarating to talk with those who who teach you. This type of experience is not achievable in distance-learning class.
Distance learning class is convenient if a specific class is only provided elsewhere. But when given a choice, I believe a traditional class in a classroom is [a] more efficient and interesting method of instructional delivery.
Before: 在……之前，表示的是时间概念，而空间上的“在……前”通常用in (the) front of
Difference between A and B, 表示AB之间的不同，固定用法
Allow s.b to do, 允许某人做某事，固定用法
小站教育老师评语：
预估分数：3
举例、论证比较有说服，但是语言表达不是特别好，能力有待提高。
