学生原文：
It is common for us to realizethat life nowadays has differed significantly from that in the past. For example,many people were able to make their own clothes and repair things in house whenwe were young, howere, these skills seem disappearing currently. In the essay, Iwill explore the reasons for these disappearing skills extensively, anddiscussed whether it is a positive or negative trend in detail. Apparently, several factors causethis phenomenon.
As the economic society has advanced, people’s life changed alot that they can purchase whatever they want from various shops. For example,when people need a new clothes, they can just go into a shopping mall and get theone they like which was unavailable in the past. In addition, people have noenough time to learn. Living in a world full of pressure, individuals are sotired to pursue a better life that they really do not have extra time to learnthese abilities. Personally, I think the trendcarrys many detrimental effects.
To begin with, life becomes less convenient. Forexample, things will become easier if the water tube breaks up when we arehaving a bath. In stark contrast, if we cannot repair that our house will be a ‘pool’when the worker comes to help us. Moreover, life will be more fantastic withbeing equipped with these abilities. We can furniture our house, make clothesin our way such as create some weird chairs as our wishes other than choose onethat has the same function but donnot suit our taste.
Overall, the causes of the issueare diverse such as the ones mentioned above. However, I am really regretful for the disappearing of these amazingcapabilities, because without them, our life would be less convenient andinteresting. It is rational and reasonable to recommend people to learn theseabilities.
小站教育老师批改后：
It is common for us to realizethat life nowadays has differed significantly from that in the past. For example,many people（our predecessors) were able to make their own clothes and repair things in house whenwe (they)were young, howere,(however) these skills seem(to be) disappearing currently. In the essay, Iwill explore the reasons for these disappearing skills extensively, anddiscussed (discuss)whether it is a positive or negative trend in detail.第一段低级错误太多（词语拼写错误，时态错误），一定要注意。不然会严重影响你的印象分。
Apparently, several factors causethis phenomenon. （1）As the economic society has advanced, people’s life changed alot that they can purchase whatever they want from various shops. For example,when people need a new clothes, they can just go into a shopping mall and get theone they like which was unavailable in the past.（2） In addition, people have noenough time to learn. （分论点之间还是要有一定的内在联系的）Living in a world full of pressure, individuals are sotired to pursue a better life that they really do not have extra time to learnthese abilities. （这一段你可以提取一个中心句：经济的又好又快发展是主要原因。一方面它提高了生产力，人们可以买到自己想要的任何东西。另一方面，也导致人们的生活节奏加快，压力过大，没有时间去学习这些技能。这样你这段的结构就更紧凑，会更好。）
Personally, I think the trendcarrys many detrimental effects. （这一段你只说了一个缺点）To begin with,（与它相衔接的连词呢？你没有在下文中出现） life becomes less convenient. Forexample, things will become easier if the water tube breaks up when we arehaving a bath. In stark contrast, if we cannot repair that our house will be a ‘pool’when the worker comes to help us. Moreover, life will be more fantastic withbeing equipped with these abilities. （这句话你换种表达就行了，表达成缺点的意思）We can furniture our house, make clothesin our way such as create some weird chairs as our wishes other than choose onethat has the same function but donnot suit our taste.
Overall, the causes of the issueare diverse such as the ones mentioned above. However, I am really regretful for the disappearing of these amazingcapabilities, because without them, our life would be less convenient andinteresting. It is rational and reasonable to recommend people to learn theseabilities.
估分：5.5-6；
评价：最大的问题就是文章结构不严谨，不紧凑。段落内部内容的联系性不强。同时，低级错误，千万注意。
