托福写作批改：[综合+独立][TPO11]高分作文推荐

托福写作批改前：

Question: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage.

In the lecture, the professor completely refutes what are stated in the reading passage that is revealed that people are reading less literature than before and it has the bad effects. It claims in the lecture that it has negative effects about the trend.

The reading passage begins by starting that the reading public will miss out on important merits if they read less literature. On the contrary, the lecture challeges this argument on the grounds that not only the literature but also some high quality of history, politics could simulate the reading public\'s imagination.

As for the diverting time spent in trivial forms has lowered the quality of culture in general, the speaker continues to challenge the reading directly. To put it more specifically, he argues that there are plenty forms of literature like music, movies not only books. In fact, it is also a good way for reading public to know the literature.

Lastly, the arguer challenges the validly of the assumption of the writing could decline because the standards of comtemperory readers\' standards are poor. But as the professor maintains, this assumption is a critical fallacy because the number of support people for literatures could not blend reading public because it is writers\' fault. It is difficult to understand about the writing while other forms are easier.

Question:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so

much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

With the development of science and technology, a topic became increasingly popular among people in the modern society. Does the Internet provide people with a lot of valuable information? Or do you think it access to so much information creates problems? From my perspective I agree with the former one. A few explanations that aptly illustrate my point are listed as follows.

Convincing arguments can be made that the Internet gives people a plenty of valuable information. To start with, people could get the news all over the world immediately even if they only sit in front the computer at home because of the Internet. It is manifested that most people assert that looking through the website is much more convenient than search it on the newspaper. Moreover, it is widely accepted that people could use the Internet to do a lot of business work, such as OA system and google group. Specifically, businessmen could use the Internet to deliver messages to special people and talking online if they are too far to meet face to face. An ever more significant factor that should taken into account is that the Internet could provide people the way and many information about what they need. In other words, the Internet has became a huge resource and database that has all kinds of information. People could learn the academic information, some practical skills or other things they want to learn.

Admittedly, it is commonly accepted that the Internet accesses to so much bad information that could creates many problems to the society. Obviously, there are some violent or porn information in some unhealthy website. But each coin has its two sides, right?

In summary, having considered the respective merits and demerits of the Internet, I maintain that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information, which I believe is soundly based on the above reasoning I have presented. Also, I would argue that it seems highly advisable for people to use the Internet correctly in order to make the Internet could be full used of giving people valuable information.

小站名师批改后：

Question: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage.

In the lecture, the professor completely refutes what are stated in the reading passage that is revealed that people are reading less literature than before and it has the bad effects. It claims in the lecture that it has negative effects about the trend.

The reading passage begins by starting that the reading public will miss out on important merits if they read less literature. [阅读说是提供智力激发]On the contrary, the lecture challeges【challenges】 this argument on the grounds that not only the literature but also some high quality of history, politics【还有科学书】could simulate the reading public\'s imagination.【对立点明确 细节支持少许有问题】

As for the diverting time spent in trivial forms has lowered the quality of culture in general, the speaker continues to challenge the reading directly. To put it more specifically, he argues that there are plenty forms of literature like music, movies not only books. In fact, it is also a good way for reading public to know the literature. 【对立点明确 细节支持详细】

Lastly, the arguer challenges the validly of the assumption of the writing could decline because the standards of comtemperory[contemporary] readers\' standards are poor. But as the professor maintains, this assumption is a critical fallacy because the number of support【用形容词 意思是支持的】people for literatures could not blend reading public because it is writers\' fault. 【作者什么错误要详细写】It is difficult to understand about the writing while other forms are easier.

我帮你修改的都要注意看 希望听力再认真听 加油！！

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so

much information creates problems. Which view do you agree with?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

With the development of science and technology, a topic became increasingly popular among people in the modern society. Does the Internet provide people with a lot of valuable information? Or do you think it access to so much information creates problems? From my perspective I agree with the former one. A few explanations that aptly illustrate my point are listed as follows.【开头开门见山 很棒】

Convincing arguments can be made that the Internet gives people a plenty of valuable information.

To start with, people could get the news all over the world immediately even if they only sit in front the computer at home because of the Internet. It 【添加which】is manifested that most people assert that looking through the website is much more convenient than search it on the newspaper. 【这里可以正反对比 说报纸不好】

Moreover, it is widely accepted that people could use the Internet to do a lot of business work, such as OA system and google group. Specifically, businessmen could use the Internet to deliver messages to special people and talking online if they are too far to meet face to face. An ever【是even吧 亲】 more significant factor that should taken【be taken】 into account is that the Internet could provide people the way and many information about what they need【添加which is advised by many experts】.In other 【改为one】words, the Internet has became【become】 a huge resource and database that has【改为owns比较合适】 all kinds of information. People could learn the academic information, some practical skills or other things they want to learn.

Admittedly, it is commonly accepted that 【添加through】the Internet 【添加we can】accesses to so much bad information that could creates【create】 many problems to the society. Obviously, there are some violent or porn information in some unhealthy website. But each coin has its two sides, right? 【这里论证缺少了】

In summary, having considered the respective merits and demerits of the Internet, I maintain that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information, which I believe issoundly based on the above reasoning I have presented. Also, I would argue that it seems highly advisable for people to use the Internet correctly in order to make the Internet could be full used of giving people valuable information.【最后总结不错】

写作需要多用虚拟倒装句式， 还有你第三点论证比较少，我给你改的要多看。加油，祝你学习进步!