托福写作批改：[综合][TPO30]高分作文推荐

作文批改前：

The passage is doubting the building of burning mirrors by ancient Greeks is just a myth with three reason, but the professor believes that the three reasons are not convincing.

First, the reading passage demonstrates that the ancient Greeks had no such advanced technology to manufacturing a large sheet of copper that was necesssary to buring mirrors. However, the professor suggests that the ancient Greeks could make the device. They can make buring mirrors by merging many small copper pieces into a large one.

Second, the professor points out that some ships were made by other materials that could be easily and quickly fired instead of wood. She makes the pitch example to prove it, refuting the point in the passage that buring mirrors were ineffective because they needed a long time to fire ships which can not move.

Third, the professor states that the attack of burning mirror was effective and surprising. They were much more useful than expectations, contradicting the view made by the author that the Greeks did not have reason to make such a device.

The passage is doubting [不用现在时]the building of burning mirrors by ancient Greeks is just a myth with three reason[复数], but the professor believes that the three reasons are not convincing. [模板可用]

First, the reading passage demonstrates that the ancient Greeks had no such advanced technology to manufacturing [原形]a large sheet of copper that was necesssary [拼写错误]to buring mirrors. However, the professor suggests that the ancient Greeks could make the device. They can make buring mirrors by merging many small copper pieces into a large one. [信息和叙述不错，只是有语法错误]

Second, the professor points out that some ships were made by other materials that could be easily and quickly fired instead of wood. She makes the pitch example to prove it, refuting the point in the passage that buring mirrors were ineffective because they needed a long time to fire ships which can not [cannot]move. [这段也不错]

Third, the professor states that the attack of burning mirror was effective and surprising. They were much more useful than expectations, contradicting the view made by the author that the Greeks did not have reason to make such a device. [非常简洁，不错]