托福作文批改前：
Question: Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt points made in the reading.
The reading passage puts forward three hypotheses to explain the decline in the populations of the yellow cedar in North America, but the professor in the lecture thinks the three hypotheses have evident drawbacks and are not adequate to explain the issue.
First of all, while the reading considers insect parasites especially cedar bark beetles responsible for the decline of yellow cedar, the lecture argues that healthy yellow cedar is resistant to parasites. The bark and leaves of yellow cedar contain chemicals that are poisonous to insects so that they are not likely to suffer from the insect parasites. Also, beetle can only attack the sick and dying trees. Therefore, beetle doen not account for the great decline of yellow cedar.
Second, the lecture attacks the point made in the reading that brown bears contribute to the decline. The decline occurs all across northwestern North America, including mainland and islands, yet there are no bears on island where the decline still goes on. Thus, the second hypothesis is not adequate since the decline is happening in areas with and without bears.
In addition, the lecture refutes the argument made in the reading that the frozen root system due to climate change accounts for the decline in the amount of yellow cedar. In the lecture, the professor points out that the decline is more serious in the lower elevation than that in higher elevation, which contracts the third hypothesis. If the hypothesis is sensible, there should be more decline in the cold areas.
In conclusion, the three hypotheses are not adequate to explain the decline in yellow cedar according to the arguments made in the lecture.
Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In today\'s world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With technology updating so fast and information booming greatly in today\'s world, opinions are varied when it comes to whether people should work quickly with the risk of making mistakes or work slowly while making everything correct. Those who support the first kind argue that working quickly is the only way that people can keep pace with the fast-changing society. On the contrary, others believe that making everything correct is better than working quickly with the risk of making mistakes. From my perspective, the benefit of working slowly and making sure everything is correct outweighs that of working quickly and risking making mistakes.
First of all, getting things done right does not come easy, that is to say, comes at a price of time. To get things done right requires people to take their work seriously and check carefully how it goes, which is bound to consume a lot more time. Efficiency involves both the result and endeavor. If the work is done within a shorter amount of time but turns out to be of flaws, the work will not be considered satisfactory. Concerning the consequences brought about, working slowly and making sure that everything is more efficient that working quickly with a lot of mistakes.
Furthermore, someone who is willing to spend more time on his work in order to make things correct is actually more patient and responsible when dealing with his work. For instance, two people are given the same task in a company. One employee, hoping to enjoy more leisure time of his own, finishes the task so quickly that he leaves out important information and makes stupid mistakes. In comparison, the other takes his assignment carefully and eventually turns in a perfect report although it takes him much more time. How would the boss of the company react? The boss is bound to praise the second employee for his diligence and perfectionism. Therefore, working slowly and making sure everything is correct can lead to better job performance and even greater chance of promotion in the workload.
Admittedly the ability of working quickly is important especially when someone has to finish a certain task within the time given. Take the toefl test that I am taking as an example. Since TOEFL is a timed test, if I rush to work on it, I will be able to finish it in time but it\'s very likely that I will make a lot of mistakes. It means little to me because what matters more in TOEFL is the correctness of every question.
As the saying goes, knowing everything of something is better than knowing something of everything. Working slowly is a way to ensure the correctness of work, thus showing the quality of being patient of the work-taker. In conclusion, it\'s more important to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct rather than work quickly and risk making mistakes.
小站写作老师批改后：Question: Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt points made in the reading.
The reading passage puts forward three hypotheses to explain the decline in the populations of the yellow cedar in North America, but the professor in the lecture thinks the three hypotheses have evident drawbacks and are not adequate【改为inadequate】to explain the issue.
First of all, while the reading considers insect parasites especially cedar bark beetles responsible for the decline of yellow cedar, the lecture argues that healthy yellow cedar is resistant to parasites. The bark and leaves of yellow cedar contain chemicals that are poisonous to insects so that they are not likely to suffer from the insect parasites. Also, beetle can only attack the sick and dying trees. Therefore, beetle doen not account for the great decline of yellow cedar.
Second, the lecture attacks the point made in the reading that brown bears contribute to the decline. The decline occurs all across northwestern North America, including mainland and islands, yet there are no bears on island where the decline still goes on. Thus, the second hypothesis is not adequatesince the decline is happening in areas with and without bears.
In addition, the lecture refutes the argument made in the reading that the frozen root system due to climate change accounts for the decline in the amount of yellow cedar. In the lecture, the professor points out that the decline is more serious in the lower elevation than that in higher elevation, which contracts the third hypothesis. If the hypothesis is sensible, there should be more decline in the cold areas.
In conclusion, the three hypotheses are not adequate to explain the decline in yellow cedar according to the arguments made in the lecture.
Score: 4.5
1. Accuracy: 阅读及听力的主要观点提炼得精准。
2. Organization: 符合综合写作总分结构，最后一段可要可不要。
3. Language use: 句式和词汇运用灵活恰当。
4. Strength: 内容结构完整。
5. Weakness: adequate使用频率高。
6. Improvement: 注意同义词替换及语言的简练性。能用一个词表示的尽量不要用词组或者句子。
Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In today\'s world, it is more important to work quickly and risk making mistakes than to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With technology updating so fast and information booming greatly in today\'s world, opinions are varied when it comes to whether people should work quickly with the risk of making mistakes or work slowly while making everything correct. Those who support the first kind【指代不明】 argue that working quickly is the only way that people can keep pace with the fast-changing society. On the contrary, others believe that making everything correct is better than working quickly with the risk of making mistakes. From my perspective, the benefit of working slowly and making sure everything is correct outweighs that of working quickly and risking making mistakes.【话题引出自然，观点明确】
First of all, getting things done right does not come easy, that is to say, comes at a price of time. To get things done right requires people to take their work seriously and check carefully how it goes, which is bound to consume a lot more time. Efficiency involves both the result and endeavor. If the work is done within a shorter amount of time but turns out to be of flaws, the work will not be considered satisfactory. Concerning the consequences brought about, working slowly and making sure that everything is more efficient that working quickly with a lot of mistakes.【对论点解释细致】
Furthermore, someone who is willing to spend more time on his work in order to make things correct is actually more patient and responsible when dealing with his work. For instance, two people are given the same task in a company. One employee, hoping to enjoy more leisure time of his own, finishes the task so quickly that he leaves out important information and makes stupid mistakes. In comparison, the other takes his assignment carefully and eventually turns in a perfect report although it takes him much more time. How would the boss of the company react? The boss is bound to praise the second employee for his diligence and perfectionism. Therefore, working slowly and making sure everything is correct can lead to better job performance and even greater chance of promotion in the workload.【本段例子与论点结合较好】
Admittedly the ability of working quickly is important especially when someone has to finish a certain task within the time given. Take the TOEFL test that I am taking as an example. Since TOEFL is a timed test, if I rush to work on it, I will be able to finish it in time but it\'s very likely that I will make a lot of mistakes. It means little to me because what matters more in TOEFL is the correctness of every question.
As the saying goes, knowing everything of something is better than knowing something of everything. Working slowly is a way to ensure the correctness of work, thus showing the quality of being patient of the work-taker. In conclusion, it\'s more important to work slowly and make sure that everything is correct rather than work quickly and risk making mistakes.
Score: 4.8
1. Topic Development: 能用2个理由段+1个让步段论述观点，逻辑清楚。
2. Organization: 文章结构完整，观点首尾一致。
3. Language use: 句式及词汇运用恰当。
4. Strength: 论述恰当，对论点的说明细致清楚。
5. Weakness: 有指代不明的地方。
6. Improvement: 本文不赞同题中观点。第一个理由段说明想要把工作做好必须花费一定的时间。并逻辑严密地对此观点进行了论述;第二个理由段是花费时间确保工作质量的人在处理事情时更有耐心，更具责任感。并举例对比说明了此论点。第三个是让步段，以托福考试为例，说明确保正确性的重要性，论述合理，同时也显示了作者善于观察和联想，学以致用的良好习惯。很好。注意正是写作中最好不要用缩略形式。
P.S.:写作中最好不要用第一第二人称，会使论述显得不够客观，可以用people, folks, individuals等来替代，实在避免不了可以考虑用被动结构。
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