托福写作批改：城市快速发展好吗？

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The rapid growth of cities can be seen as a positive development of the society.

学生原文

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The rapid growth of cities can be seen as a positive development of the society.

With the development of society and technology, cities all over the world appear like bamboo shoots after the rain. Some hold the opinion that this kind of rapid growth of cities takes enormous troubles for the society. However, from my perspective, this incredible pace can definitely bring advantages for the development of a society.

Firstly, migrants from other cities or other countries will be provided opportunities for work because of the growing cities. As the area and numbers of cities increase, more companies and industries which can offer jobs for people will be founded. Take Beijing as an illustrative example. As the capital city of China, the metropolis attracts the attention from all over the world. Even a special name, drifters, is given to those who migrate to Beijing with the hope to accomplish their dreams. But they can not survive in this harsh society when Beijing only has its second ring and a few companies. As for now, the seventh ring is building and much more people can get the job even though much more people migrated to Beijing. For those migrants, the growing cities really help them to discover a brand new and meaningful life.

Secondly, infrastructures for civilization dramatically improved due to the growth of cities. For one aspect, public transportation becomes faster and more convenient. Subways are ubiquitous and popular in cities for their wide range and high speed. Most people in metropolis today tend to take subway instead of driving to work. Also, roads are flatter and wider for drivers to reach anywhere in this city. For the other aspect, advanced technology and professional experts pave the way for other practical infrastructures, to name a few, museums, schools, movie theaters and hospitals, to offer comfortable and convenient lives for urbanian. Thus, infrastructures brought by the growth of cities do benefit people a lot.

Thirdly, cities can also drive the economy of the country. It goes without saying that with the increase of demand, the sellers can get tremendous profits. Cities serve that function. Both regional and national GDP will increase as a result of house and service demand caused by the urban expansion. Therefore, the growth of cities can be worth expecting to promote the country’s economy.

In conclusion, the growth of cities is definitely a happy news for a country since it can not only offer opportunities for migrant, but also improve infrastructures to comfort people. Furthermore, a country can even be boosted by the boom of a city’s economy.

   小站教育老师批改后：

With the development of society and technology, cities all over the world appear like bamboo shoots after the rain. Some hold the opinion that this kind of rapid growth of cities takes enormous troubles for【没有take troubles for 的搭配，可改为bring troubles tp】 the society. However, from my perspective, this incredible pace can definitely bring advantages for the development of a society.

Firstly, migrants from other cities or other countries will be provided opportunities for work【job opportunities】 because of the growing cities. As the area and numbers【the number】of cities increase, more companies and industries which can offer jobs for people will be founded. Take Beijing as an illustrative example. As the capital city of China, the metropolis attracts the attention from all over the world. Even a special name, drifters, is given to those who migrate to Beijing with the hope to accomplish their dreams. But they can not survive in this harsh society when Beijing only has its second ring and a few companies【要用过去时】. As for now, the seventh ring is building【被动 being built】 and much more people can get the job even though much more people migrated to Beijing. For those migrants, the growing cities really help them to discover a brand new and meaningful life.【这个论点不错】

Secondly, infrastructures for civilization dramatically improved【用被动】 due to the growth of cities. For one aspect, public transportation becomes faster and more convenient. Subways are ubiquitous and popular in cities for their wide range and high speed. Most people in metropolis today tend to take subway instead of driving to work. Also, roads are flatter and wider for drivers to reach anywhere in this city. For the other aspect, advanced technology and professional experts pave the way for other practical infrastructures, to name a few, museums, schools, movie theaters and hospitals, to offer comfortable and convenient lives for urbanian. Thus, infrastructures brought by the growth of cities do benefit people a lot.

Thirdly, cities can also drive the economy of the country. It goes without saying that with the increase of demand, the sellers can get tremendous profits. Cities serve that function. Both regional and national GDP will increase as a result of house and service demand caused by the urban expansion. Therefore, the growth of cities can be worth expecting to promote the country’s economy.

In conclusion, the growth of cities is definitely a happy news for a country since it can not only offer opportunities for migrant, but also improve infrastructures to comfort people. Furthermore, a country can even be boosted by the boom of a city’s economy.

【整体不错，注意细节即可】