托福写作批改：技术让生活更复杂？

Technology designed to make people's lives simpler but make people's lives more complicated.

学生原文：

"It was the best of times; it was the worst of times", said by Charles Dickens in the beginning of 'A Tale of Two Cities'. Apparently, we do benefit a lot from rapidly burgeoning technology and seize this tremendous technological development. By and large, every individual in modern society, inevitably, is experiencing the changes brought by technology products. However, on no account should we neglect the fact that our lives are gradually becoming more complicated resulted from the technology. Thus, from my perspective, technology designed to make people's lives simpler but make people's lives more complicated.

Initially, we are forced to adapt ourselves to the burgeoning updating of technology. In order to fit into the world trend, every technological company makes every effort to update those products, consistently. Ironically, people are, to some extent, mandatory to get used to the new products when they are still striving to know the prior one. Take my personal experience as a typical example. Last year, I was considering purchasing an electronic reading device to make reading simpler. However, it turned out that, it was nearly impossible for me to make such a seemingly readily decision, for I was not sure if I can choose the most appropriate one when products are updating so swiftly. As a result, I quitted the mind, because I do not want myself get stuck in the vicious circle made by the technological development.

Plus, getting familiar with technological products would be really complicated. For instance, a 65-year-old woman, living in Hangzhou, mistakenly used the electronic heater and then caught it fire. Yet, this is not an exception. According to the survey made by China Daily, 65 percent of interviewees are afraid of starting to use a new technological product because of the dangerous outcome follows with erroneously usages. Virtually, getting familiar with technological products is time consuming and energy consuming, while people have barely enough time and energy for those products. Therefore, technology indeed makes people's lives complicated.

Admittedly, we should appreciate the technological inventors who designed those products with the purpose of making people's lives simpler. However, we should take those products critically, since they did make our lives more complicated.

Based on those discussions mentioned above, I think, technology designed to make people's lives simpler but make people's live more complicated, because it changes swiftly and inaccessible.

   小站教育老师批改后：

"It was the best of times; it was the worst of times", said by Charles Dickens in the beginning of 'A Tale of Two Cities'. Apparently, we do benefit a lot from rapidly burgeoning technology and seize this tremendous technological development. By and large, every individual in modern society, inevitably, is experiencing the changes brought by technology products. However, on no account should we neglect the fact that our lives are gradually becoming more complicated resulted from the technology. Thus, from my perspective, technology designed to make people's lives simpler but make people's lives more complicated. 【第一段确实很不错呢，内容很丰富，运用了倒装等句式，但是又不显得杂乱】

Initially, we are forced to adapt ourselves to the burgeoning updating of technology. In order to fit into the world trend, every technological company makes every effort to update those products, consistently. Ironically, people are, to some extent, mandatory to get used to the new products when they are still striving to know the prior one. Take my personal experience as a typical example. Last year, I was considering purchasing an electronic reading device to make reading simpler. However, it turned out that, it was nearly impossible for me to make such a seemingly readily decision, for I was not sure if I can choose the most appropriate one when products are updating so swiftly. As a result, I quitted the mind【idea】, because I do not want myself get stuck in the vicious circle made by the technological development. 【这个例子比较简单，其实不需要使用3句长句进行解释，因为你的水平很不错，所以重心可以放到论述上去，可以把这三句简化一下】

Plus, getting familiar with technological products would be really complicated. For instance, a 65-year-old woman, living in Hangzhou, mistakenly used the electronic heater and then caught it fire. Yet, this is not an exception. According to the survey made by China Daily, 65 percent of interviewees are afraid of starting to use a new technological product because of the dangerous outcome follows with erroneously usages. Virtually, getting familiar with technological products is time consuming and energy consuming, while people have barely enough time and energy for those products. Therefore, technology indeed makes people's lives complicated. 【这部分的例子就不错，简单明了，且有2个例子，数据也比较能够增加税负里】

Admittedly, we should appreciate the technological inventors who designed those products with the purpose of making people's lives simpler. However, we should take those products critically, since they did make our lives more complicated.

Based on those discussions mentioned above, I think, technology designed to make people's lives simpler but make people's live more complicated, because it changes swiftly and inaccessible.

预估分数：

25

确实写得很好啊~基本无错误，语言流畅，论述方面有理有据，

就是有的时候要注意语言的使用，可以简略的内容就不用特别多说哦~

现在的水平一定能够有个好成绩的~