学生原文：
A wholesome and active life might be a dream of every individual whereas occupied and busy modern life often deprives people of health. Recently, people are involved in the discussion about whether a healthy diet derives from the efforts made by the government or everyone. From my perspective, governments and individuals should assume the common duty of preserving healthy diet.
A government should shoulder unshakable obligation to ensure its people’s health. Primarily, TV commercials and various ads are the underlying reasons of unhealthy dietary habit. Specifically, after watching different vivid food ads on fast-foods, fried foods and carbonated beverage, unwise consumers will unavoidably be swayed by those negative propagandas. Imaginably, too much eating of cheese, ice cream, salty snacks and meat is physically detrimental. However, a government is, essentially, a group of people who govern a country and has the responsibility to control economic and social activities of state. Therefore, the government should impost obligations that it should formulate policies restricting advertisements about unhealthy fast food aiming at children and enact legislations imposing a heavy tax upon alcohol buyers, cigarette purchasers and all unhealthy food. Also, not only should a government popularize knowledge of wholesome diet for people, but also it should advocate idea about healthy dietary habit.
Nonetheless, people’s diet and health still is principally an individual responsibility. To begin with, people should try to avoid too much intake of high fat, sugar and calorie and should eat some fruits and vegetables in daily life. Since just like people saying goes, “you are what you eat”. As we all known that fruits and vegetables are high in nutritional value because they contain various beneficial vitamins. However, your healthy diet containing fruits and vegetables is only prepared by yourself rather than a government. Likewise, doing some regular physical exercise is a must in the interests of people health. People can easily strengthen their immune system and thus enhance their health index. More precisely, taking up various physical exercises help players relieve their pressures and ease their moods. Obviously, you have to assume your own duty to stay healthy via taking adequate exercises.
In sum, although a government is obligated to take care of citizen’s healthy diet generally, people should firstly protect their dining table, abandon unhealthy dietary habit and do more sports. Overall, I am convinced that joint efforts have to be made by the government and people.
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A wholesome and active life【wholesome一般译为“有益健康的”，和life连用不恰当。一般常用live a healthy life】 might be a dream of every individual whereas occupied and busy modern life often deprives people of health【不这么用，太过激了。deprives people of adequate care on their own health/care in maintaining ...】. Recently, people are involved in the discussion about whether a healthy diet derives from【不恰当，此处topic中指的是该由谁来负责，而不是说已经成型了的健康饮食习惯是源自哪里的】 the efforts made by the government or everyone. From my perspective, governments and individuals should assume the common duty of preserving healthy diet.
A government should shoulder unshakable【unshirkable不可逃避的】 obligation to ensure its people’s health. Primarily, TV commercials and various【forms of】 ads are the underlying reasons of unhealthy dietary habit【eating habits】. Specifically, after watching different vivid food ads on fast-foods【补充个inviting images of fast foods like...and ...on TV】, fried foods and carbonated beverage, unwise【有点显得过激了（喊辱骂愚笨的意味），建议使用the consumers who are vulnerable to such visual temptation will 】 consumers will unavoidably be swayed by those negative propagandas【negative不需要】. Imaginably, too much eating of【eating too much】 cheese, ice cream, salty snacks and meat is physically detrimental. However, a government is, essentially, a group of people who govern a country and has the responsibility to control economic and social activities of state. Therefore, the government should impost obligations that it should formulate policies restricting【could place limits on】 advertisements about unhealthy fast food aiming at children and enact legislations【such as】 imposing a heavy tax upon alcohol buyers, cigarette purchasers and all unhealthy food.【of course government can also make good use of the mass media 】 Also, not only should a government popularize【the importance of keeping a balanced and wholesome diet...】 knowledge of wholesome diet for people, but also it should advocate idea about healthy dietary habit.
Nonetheless, people’s diet and health still is principally an individual responsibility. To begin with, people should try to avoid too much intake of high fat, sugar and calorie and should eat some fruits and vegetables in daily life. Since just like people saying goes, “you are what you eat”. As we all known that fruits and vegetables are high in nutritional value because they contain various beneficial vitamins. However, your healthy diet containing fruits and vegetables is only prepared by yourself rather than a government. Likewise, doing some regular physical exercise is a must in the interests of people[‘s] health. People can easily strengthen their immune system and thus enhance their health index. More precisely, taking up various physical exercises help players relieve their pressures and ease their moods. Obviously, you have to assume your own duty to stay healthy via taking adequate exercises【as well as sticking to a ...diet】.
【主要是说healthy diet，应该再多说下国家的作用是有限的，呼应上一段的宣传和教育作用，国家的能力没办法做到强制，不能干预个人选择，所以这个responsibility still fall on each individual，要对自己负责，是要树立起意识等等。。。】
In sum, although a government is obligated to take care of citizen’s healthy diet generally, people should firstly protect their dining table,【prevent... from...】 abandon unhealthy dietary habit and【encourage people to】 do more sports. Overall, I am convinced that joint efforts have to be made by the government and people.
【HINT:国家为宣传教育辅，个人树立正确意识践行健康模式为主】
预估分数：6-6.5
点评：
整体可以，一些细节上注意，单词拼写和词语的选用请注意，一些语片用的不错，看的出有积累过，继续加油!
