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托福写作批改:[综合][TPO13]高分作文推荐


作文批改前:


From the reading passage, the author claims that the disadvantages of the private buyers' buying large amount of fossils outweigh the advantages, the professor, by contrast, holds an opposite idea.

First, the author maintains that it will cause public interest decline since private buyers may prevent people from seeing them. However, the professor states that the private buyers' buying fossils will make people have more opportunities to see fossils. Since private buyers make the fossils available to purchase, low-level institutions like public school and library can buy fossils routinely and display them to the public.

While the author contends that the scientists has less opportunities to do research over important fossils since private owners have already bought them, the professor holds that scientists will still have access to examine the fossil. Since it is a necessity to carry on scientific identification before putting value on given fossils, and it is scientists that are able to carry on detailed examination and test on them, scientists will not miss out anything important through discovery.

Finally, the author maintains that fossil collectors may destroy valuable scientific evidence if there are fossils undiscovered. However, the professor believes that many fossils will be left undiscovered without private collectors as there are not many fossil collecting organization run by universities and other scientific organizations. It is better to discover important fossils rather than leave them undiscovered even without scientific data we would like to have.

小站名师批改后:



From the reading passage, the author claims that the disadvantages of the private buyers' buying large amount of fossils outweigh the advantages, the professor, by contrast, holds an opposite idea.

First, the author maintains that it will cause public interest decline since private buyers may prevent people from seeing them. However, the professor statesthat the private buyers' buying fossils will make people have more opportunities to see fossils. Since private buyers make the fossils available to purchase, low-level institutions like public school and library can buy fossils routinely and display them to the public.【信息完整】

While the author contends that the scientists has less opportunities to do research over important fossils since private owners have already bought them, the professor holds that scientists will still have access to examine the fossil. Since it is a necessity to carry on scientific identification before putting value on given fossils, and it is scientists that are able to carry on detailed examination and test on them, scientists will not miss out anything important through discovery.【分析的有道理~】

Finally, the author maintains that fossil collectors may destroy valuable scientific evidence if there are fossils undiscovered. However, the professor believes that many fossils will be left undiscovered without private collectors as there are not many fossil collecting organization run by universities and other scientific organizations. It is better to discover important fossils rather than leave them undiscovered even without scientific data we would like to have.【内容完整】

批改意见:

Accuracy:信息抓取完整

Organization:行文结构安排合理 每一段能够有reading与lecture的对立内容

Language use:用词准确 语句通顺

Strength: 双方信息准确对应 段落组织有序 衔接紧密 用词确切 语法规范 几乎没有拼写错误

Improvement:继续保持 加油~

Integrated Task

LevelGood

4.5

28



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