托福写作批改：[综合][TPO28]高分作文推荐

作文批改前：

The reading and the professor in the listening have a debate on whether Robert E. Peary really reached the North Pole. The professor thinks the arguments in the reading are not convincing.

First, the reading states that a committee of National Geographic Society declared that Pearyindeed reached the North Pole by conducting an investigation. The professor, onthe other hand, says that the investigation is not objective because themembers in the committee are Peary's close friends. Besides, the investigation only lasted 2 days; thus, the records of Peary could not be examined carefullyand cannot serve as solid evidence.

Second, the reading adopts a point that Tom Avery, a British explorer, made a same trekless than 37 days, which refutes skeptics who think that Peary could not travel so fast. However, the speaker views at a different angle that Avery's trek was different from that of Peary for his loads on trek were lighter and the food was dropped by airplane. What's more, he traveled at a better weather condition than Peary. Because of these 2 differences, that Avery could travel less than37 days is reasonable.

Finally, inaccordance with the reading, the photographs taken by Peary also support his reaching North Pole. By contrast, the speaker says that we cannot calculate the Sun's position because at Peary's time, about 100 years ago, cameras were unfocused and the photos now are blurred and faded. Therefore, we cannot determine whether Peary really reached the North Pole.

小站名师批改后：

The reading and the professor in the listening have a debate on whether Robert E. Peary really reached the North Pole. The professor thinks the arguments in the reading are not convincing. [建议写为：阅读认为什么，或听力认为什么。你目前的写法，没有表明其中任何一方的观点，只是说听不同意阅读部分的又有多大的意义]

First, the reading states that a committee of National Geographic Society declared that Pearyindeed[单词之间必须空格] reached the North Pole by conducting an investigation. The professor, onthe other hand, says that the investigation is not objective because themembers in the committee are Peary's close friends. Besides, the investigation only lasted 2 days; thus, the records of Peary could not be examined carefullyand cannot serve as solid evidence. [信息准确，叙述也不错]

Second, the reading adopts a [the]point that Tom Avery, a British explorer, made a same trek[加in]less than 37 days, which refutes skeptics who think that Peary could not travel so fast. However, the speaker views at a different angle that Avery's trek was different from that of Peary for his loads on trek were lighter and the food was dropped by airplane. What's more, he traveled at a better weather condition than Peary. Because of these 2 differences, that Avery could travel less than37 days is reasonable. [这段的叙述也不错，很流畅]

Finally, inaccordance with the reading, the photographs taken by Peary also support his reaching North Pole. By contrast, the speaker says that we cannot calculate the Sun's position because at Peary's time, about 100 years ago, cameras were unfocused and the photos now are blurred and faded. Therefore, we cannot determine whether Peary really reached the North Pole.

预估分数：4.8

整体不错，只是开头部分需要你再调整一下模板;其他部分都处理很好，信息抓得很准，叙述也很到位，继续努力，再调整一下开头，可以得满分哟