学生原文：
小站教育老师批改后：
An increasing number of people are criticizing the decrease of contribution of the young people to their communities. Some people claim that young people are becoming more and more limited in their own little social cycle without caring much about the community they live in. However, in my view, nowadays the scale and state of the society has【have】 changed significantly, and young people are playing an important role of【in】 today's community in a more invisible way.
To begin with, young people with high-quality education could facilitate the harmony of communities and help solve latent problems with more efficient media like the Internet. For one thing, contemporary people have received more education, which makes them more well-mannered and urbane. Once conflicts and complaints occurred【不必用过去时】, the youngsters are the first batch of people who will analyze the matter reasonably and deal with them impartially. For another, since the technology has been rapidly developed, the Internet could provide huge amount of influences. At the same time, young people as the fresh part of the society, are proficient users of the Internet without any doubt. With the help of the Internet, they are able to help the community department to broadcast the latest news and notices all around the neighborhood【去掉all】; they also collect people's suggestions in order to enhance the service quality of community. This time-saving and effective way of communications can be realized mostly by our youngsters. Therefore, young people's positive influences cannot be simply ignored from any perspective.【论点有说服力，论述也比较充分】
Besides this, further conditions to prove my illustration is that some excellent youngsters are brilliant models of the community, which makes contributions indirectly but essentially. We all have heard some brilliant young people, who get good grades in school, or help others regardless of their own lives. For instance, recent news showed that four university students died when they tried to save a person who was dying in water, even though【为什么用even though】 the man was saved and alive eventually. We may have mix of feelings about the event. On one hand, we feel so sorry for them, since beautiful and precious lives are diminished easily sometimes. On the other hand, we fairly admire them and the bravery may affect our behaviors in the future. Thus, although some young people didn't do anything to their communities seemingly, they actually appear in people's mind strikingly. They will be our heroes forever.【例子很恰当】
To sum up, it is unfair to draw a conclusion that young people do not provide enough time for the constructions of their communities, no matter material constructions or mental ones, because they are performing in various ways that people might neglect sometimes. On the contrary, they should be praised and appreciated in general.
【思路清晰，论述充分有说服力。还需注意下细节】
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Independent Task
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Level：Good
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4.3
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27
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ADVICE FOR IMPROVEMENT OF INTERGRATED TASK
>> Continue to improve your ability to relate and convey information from two or more sources. For example, practice analyzing reading passages in English.
>> Read two articles or chapters on the same topic or issue, write a summary of each, and then explain the ways they are similar and the ways they are different.
>> Practice combining listening and reading by searching for readings related to talks and lectures with teacher or a friend.
ADVICE FOR IMPROVEMENT OF INDEPENDENT TASK
>> Continue to improve your ability to express opinions by studying the ways that published writers express their opinions.
>> Read articles and essays written by professional writers that express opinions about an issue (for example, a social, environmental or educational issue).
>> Identify the writer’s opinion or opinions.
>> Notice how the writer addresses possible objections to the opinions, if the writer discusses these.
>>尽量多阅读范文，模仿好的文章中作者阐述论证观点的方式。
>>多阅读不同类型话题的文章，积累专业作家针对不同话题的观点内容。
>>可以多引用别人的观点内容。
>>阅读范文过程中，注意作者如何反向论证观点。
