Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
学生原文：
Recently, there is a controversy that someexperts insist it is more beneficial to fund children’s foreign languagelearning at primary school than secondary school. From my perspective, I amfavor of it to some extent.
Obviously, children have special abilityfor learning language at primary age. There are several elements can beconducive to language study, including strong memory, ability for imitating andso on. Referring to memory, as a experiment demonstrated that the youngergroup(9-10years) catch more items into head than the elder group(14-15years) inmemory games. And in term of imitating, compared with secondary students, heprimary have less fear in imitating foreigner speaking, so they can speak morevividly.
Furthermore, learning a foreign language atprimary age can help children to understand a kind of culture. Along with the globalization,it is essential to engage into the multiculture. Since learning a foreignlanguage as early as possible can improve children’s skill of studyinglanguage, students can take diverse language and integrate into variouscultures when they grow up.
On the contrary, the disadvantage is alsoobvious. Bilingual education may confuse primary children. Because the region’sidentification has not been completed, the primary may lose their root ofculture. It can be best supported by the example of Hong Kong, a harbour city of china. Schools in Hong Kong take the bilingual teaching at primary school, contributingto the fact that the adults would like to speak English more frequently than Chinese.
In conclusion, advantageous though learningforeign language at primary school is to some extent, it poses some downsides,when domestic culture protecting is taken into consideration.
小站教育老师批改后：
Recently, there is a controversy【既然是个controversy但是为何后面只写了一个方面的idea】 that some experts insist it is more beneficial to fund children’s foreign language learning at primary school than secondary school. From my perspective, I am 【in】 favor of it to some extent.
Obviously, children have special ability 【the ability to do】for learning language at primary age. There are several elements【that】 can be conducive to language study, including strong memory, ability for imitating and so on. Referring to memory, as a【an】 experiment demonstrated that the youngergroup(9-10years old) catch more【information】 items into head than the elder group(14-15years old) in 【the test of memory 】memory games. And in terms of imitating, compared with secondary students, heprimary【students in primary school/primary students】 have less fear in imitating foreigner speaking, so they can speak more vividly
【HINT: they are quite at ease in communicating with foreigner，therefore more interaction could be triggered，no doubt pupils could acquire a language much easier than the elder generation;people in elementary school tend to be more involved in learning foreign languages....】.
Furthermore, learning a foreign language at primary age can help children to understand a kind of culture. Along with the globalization,it is essential to engage into【in即可】 the multiculture. Since learning a foreign language as early as possible can improve children’s skill of studying language,【逻辑还值得推敲】 students can take diverse language and integrate into various cultures when they grow up.【大致意思能理解，表达的太中式了且和前句欠缺逻辑链接，建议加上what's more连接。建议参考：under the assistance of the languages they mastered，they could be a driving force in enhancing the culture exchange among different countries】
On the contrary, the disadvantage is also obvious. Bilingual education may confuse primary【school】 children. Because the region’s identification has not been completed, the primary【students】 may lose their【culture identity或者fail to develop the recognition of their own culture】 root of culture. 【用，which 连接两个句子】It can be best supported by the example of【the education system in】 Hong Kong, a harbour city of china. Schools in Hong Kong 【has adopted bilingual education at...】take the bilingual teaching at primary school【since long】, contributing to the fact that the adults would like to speak English more frequently than Chinese.
In conclusion, advantageous though learning foreign language at primary school is to some extent, it poses some downsides,when domestic culture protecting is taken into consideration.
预估分数：5-5.5
点评：文章的内容比较充实尤其body的最后部分挺convincing的，就是有些地方你有自己的想法但是不能很好的用英文去表现出来，这就比较吃亏，所以在表达上还是需要下点功夫，需要多多阅读、积累，相信会越来越好。请继续加油!
