Today, news reported by the media tends to focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments. Some people think that is harmful to both individuals and society. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
学生原文：
The popularity of media has influenced various aspects of our daily life. And this development has given rise to debates on the focus of the media reports. Some people urge that the news concentrates too much on negative events such as building fires, natural disasters or political scandals, which mislead the whole society, while I hold the view that the phenomenon just helps to enhance government regulation and raise citizen’s awareness of safety.
With the crime rate increasing and environment pollution exacerbated in recent years, supervision by media on government exerts positive effect on social development. Problems caused by lax discipline will be unveiled and the public concern following will encourage instant reaction by governors. Besides, with financial policy transparency ensured, media reports allow social members to keep eyes on the officials in case of the latent corruption and power abuse.
In terms of the individual consciousness of safety, media reports ring the alarm for people so that everyone can get themselves rid of vicious events such as robbery or sexual assaults.Provided that valuable strategies are given via the platform, the audience can be equipped with more relevant knowledge on precaution against crimes. Furthermore, even when confronted with such situations, they would be probably calm enough to come up with ideal options to cope with by themselves.
Some people believe that too much unpleasant news broadcast contributes to the occurrence of a sense of insecurity. People who receive too much adverse news may show a pessimistic attitude and undue anxiety. This is possibly true to some extent. However, you can’t be too much careful today since social problems, including drug abuse and even terrorism, do disturb us and apparently, no one wants to be the victim.
In conclusion, although the media news related to problems results in anxiety among the crowd, I argue that it is just this trend that keeps people safer by strengthening official supervision and raising public awareness of social evil, overall.
小站教育老师批改后：
Today, news reported by the media tends to focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments. Some people think that is harmful to both individuals and society. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
The popularity of media has influenced various aspects of our daily life. And this development has given rise to debates on the focus of the media reports. Some people urge【argue】 that the news concentrates too much on negative events such as building fires【buildings on fire】, natural disasters or political scandals, which mislead the whole society【似乎说的有点过了，报道一些时政是mislead么?建议参考：therefore the mass media today is somehow weigh down its audience or listeners with too much negative energy】, while I hold the view that the phenomenon just helps to enhance government regulation and raise citizen’s awareness of safety.【最好先提及下另一方观点，在表达自己的态度】
With the crime rate increasing and environment pollution 【being】exacerbated in recent years, supervision by media on government exerts positive effect on social development. Problems caused by lax discipline will be unveiled and the public concern following will encourage【pressure the authorities to come up with...】 instant reaction by governors. Besides, with financial policy transparency ensured, media reports allow social members【the public】 to keep eyes【keep an eye on】 on the officials in case of the latent corruption and power abuse.
In terms of the 【rising (awareness of...)】 individual consciousness of safety, media reports ring the alarm for people so that【the chances that people could get rid of .....are improved/better secured】 everyone can get themselves rid of【...get rid of sth】vicious events such as robbery or sexual assaults.Provided that valuable strategies are given via the platform, the audience can be equipped with more relevant knowledge on precaution against crimes. Furthermore, even when confronted【confronting】 with such situations, they would be probably【掉一下位置更好probably be，或者建议使用they are highly likely to be】 calm enough to come up with ideal options to cope with by themselves.
Some people believe that too much unpleasant news broadcasted contributes to the occurrence of a sense of insecurity. People who receive too much adverse news may show【trigger】 a pessimistic attitude and undue anxiety. This is possibly true to some extent. However, you can’t be too much careful today since 【we cannot deny the fact that】social problems, including drug abuse and even terrorism, do disturb us and apparently【from time to time】, 【people want to be prepared in advance since...】no one wants to be the victim.
In conclusion, although the media news related to problems【could】 results in 【certain】anxiety among the crowd, I argue that it is just this trend that keeps people safer by strengthening official supervision and raising public awareness of social evil,【self protection...】 overall.
小站教育老师评语：
预估分数：5.5
点评：
整体结构把握的可以，也能较有逻辑性的支持自己的观点，在一些措辞和句子的表达上尚且有些不足，希望注意。请继续努力!
