One of the best way that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to kae a part-time job.
I definitely agree with that statement.I will support my poiont of view by enumerating three essential reasons below.
In the first place,taking a part-time job is advantangeous for teenage children to form an ability of independence.While taking a part-time job, the teenage children do not have the protection and assistance of their parents and have to accomplish the requirements of their job on their own.And I believe this is one of the most important parts for teenage chidren to prepare for their adult life.
In the second place,teenage children have more opportunities to make new friends while taking part-time jobs.For instance,when I was a teenage child and took a part-time job as a waitter at a resturant, I could meet a varity of different peopele from various countries such as Japan,France and the US.We could have pleasant conversation not only about the acedemic information including history, cutual, and economics,but also about the international events,a process really broadened my knowdlege scope,and moreover I learned some useful interpersonal skills and beneficial personalities from them such as honesty and persistence.Additionally,I had learned to cooperate with othe peaple effectively in order to finish the tasks required by the boss.
I think this really helped me prepare for my adult hood in the future.
Futhermore,taking a part-time job is concusive for teenage children to realize the significance of tenecity and diligence during working.They will understand the what kind of difficulty and hardship their parents had gone through and consequentely will pay sinsere respect to their parents.In addition, after going through some difficulties which are unavoidable during working, the children can form more positive and active attitude towards their lives in the future because they will understand no matter what kind of unprecedented things happened in their lives, they can overcome it in the end.
As the examples I have mentioned above,I believe that parents should encourage their teenage children to take part-time job to prepare better for the future.
小站教育批改意见:
预估分数:3.0
整篇文章意思清楚,但表达有问题,需要提升表达方式。建议在日常的复习过程中,多做阅读及写作训练,一是培养语感,二是借鉴范文的行文方式。虽然这篇文章的结构框架还是可以的,但是具体的论证内容不够丰富,还需要加强。建议采用提炼小观点,然后论述,再是段落小总结的方式进行写作。另外,整篇文章出现了很多的拼写错误及语法错误,在写完之后,一定要做检查以规避此类错误。
写作建议:
Level: FAIR (2.5–3.5)
ADVICE FOR IMPROVEMENT OF INTERGRATED TASK
Practice finding main points.
Ask a friend to record news and informational programs in English from the television or radio, or download talks or lectures from the Internet.
Listen and take notes. Stop the recording about every 30 seconds to write out a short summary of what you heard.
Replay the recording to check your summary. Mark places where you are not sure if you have understood what was said or if you are not sure you have expressed yourself well.
ADVICE FOR IMPROVEMENT OF INDEPENDENT TASK
Write a response to an article or essay in English, taking the opposite viewpoint.
Outline your response.
Note the methods you use to support your ideas. Reread what you have written.
Make sure your supporting ideas are clearly related to your main point.
Note what method you use to develop each of your supporting points.
Make sure you have developed each of your points in detail. Is there anything more you could have said to strengthen your points?
尝试用反面观点来进行论证。
写文章前先制定写作大纲。
写作是需要注意使用的论证方式,写好之后要回看修改。
注意论据和论点之间的关系要紧密。
论证方式注意多样化。
注意论据要多用细节。看是否有更多的论据来支撑观点。