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托福写作批改:[综合+独立][TPO19]高分作文推荐

2015年10月23日16:19 来源:小站整理
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摘要:小站综合点评及批改意见:预估30分。在整篇文章中观点明确,结构层次非常清楚!而在词句中的表现也是可圈可点,句式变化多样,有很强的可读性!

写作批改前:

Question: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific points made in the reading passage.

Apparently, the speaker disputes the notion illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage, there are three considerable factors about harmful effects of buzzing. However, none of them regard in the eye of the listening material.

Initially, the author contends that with buzzing all information that consumers hear is incorrect. Actually, the speaker does not agree at all, by asserting that not all the individuals are paid to tell lies. Of course, they get money, but what they say is true, which means that they have already used the products and have felt fascinating so they make the recommendation. What\'s more, he takes his own experience as an example.

Equally, the author claims that the consumers accept all the words from private individuals rather than keep suspicious, which is refuted by the speaker. As a matter of fact, the speaker demonstrates that consumers definitely ask something. And people will consider to buy the products only if they get answers of their question.

Finally, the writer believes that buzzing is likely to harm the trustful relationship among people. From the speaker\'s perspective, it is extremely stupid, because they praise the products only after finding it fabulous. In this way, buzzing is helpful to the expectation of honesty.

托福写作批改:[综合+独立][TPO19]高分作文推荐图1

Question:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news sources.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, we have definitely enter the totally new age of information due to the development of advanced technology. Keeping pace with the whole world appears to be of far more remarkable importance in the contemporary society than before. For years and years, the issue is always being discussed that whether it is necessary to get information from different news sources. Whereas certain individuals contend that merely finding the most appropriate way is absolutely enough to be well-informed, others assert that it is a wiser choice to seize all the means. Actually, I would like to claim that it is our opportunity and obligation to figure out the truth from all kinds of news sources. Several reasons are cited in support of my recommendation.

Initially, usually it is almost impossible to be good at covering all the scale of news as one kind of source alone. For instance, perhaps local radio station could have access to the latest the government policy in this region while it is a better experience to watch TV news to recognize what happen all over the world. I would rather search numerous ways than stick to one source alone.

Equally, we might be misleading if just concentrating on one news source. These days, people hold more novel ideas and when discussing about one topic, there will even be two opposite views. In order to understand the world we live better, more sources are needed, in fact.

Finally, thinking about efficient ways, we tend to choose get information from many different new sources. Through knowing the whole things deeply, we are enlightened to make the right decision and avoid mistakes. Maybe Internet websites bring us the news that is considered somewhat unconvincing, we are able to prove whether it is true by reading newspaper.

To sum up, provided that sometimes it is a tough task to choose one perfect method and use it during entire time, we had better achieve our goals in different way. Believe it or not, even the same scene will be viewed as extremely different pictures. Realizing all these stuff, searching information from variable sources is quite favorable.

小站名师批改后:

Question: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific points made in the reading passage.

Apparently, the speaker disputes the notion illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage, there are three considerable factors about harmful effects of buzzing. However, none of them regard in the eye of the listening material.

Initially, the author contends that with buzzing all information that consumers hear is incorrect. Actually, the speaker does not agree at all, by asserting that not all the individuals are paid to tell lies. Of course, they get money, but what they say is true, which means that they have already used the products and have felt fascinating 【fascinated】so they make the recommendation. What\'s more, he takes his own experience as an example.

Equally, the author claims that the consumers accept all the words from private individuals rather than keep suspicious, which is refuted by the speaker. As a matter of fact, the speaker demonstrates that consumers definitely ask something. And people will consider to buy the products only if they get answers of their question【to their questions,注意搭配answer to,key to】.

Finally, the writer believes that buzzing is likely to harm the trustful relationship among people. From the speaker\'s perspective, it is extremely stupid, because they praise the products only after finding it fabulous. In this way, buzzing is helpful to the expectation of honesty.

1、 信息点很完整也很准确,非常不错!

2、 对the reading passage与the lecture的内容进行了很好的paraphrase,非常符合综合写作的要求!

3、 语法词汇也是很好!

Integrated Task

Level :Good

5.0

30

Level: GOOD (4.0–5.0)

ADVICE FOR IMPROVEMENT OF INTERGRATED TASK

>> Continue to improve your ability to relate and convey information from two or more sources. For example, practice analyzing reading passages in English.

>> Read two articles or chapters on the same topic or issue, write a summary of each, and then explain the ways they are similar and the ways they are different.

>> Practice combining listening and reading by searching for readings related to talks and lectures with teacher or a friend.

Question:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In order to be well-informed, a person must get information from many different news sources.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, we have definitely enter 【entered】the totally new age of information due to the development of advanced technology. Keeping pace with the whole world appears to be of far more remarkable importance in the contemporary society than before. For years and years, the issue is always being 【has always been being现在完成进行时】discussed that whether it is necessary to get information from different news sources. Whereas certain individuals contend that merely finding the most appropriate way is absolutely enough to be well-informed, others assert that it is a wiser choice to seize all the means. Actually, I would like to claim that it is our opportunity and obligation to figure out the truth from all kinds of news sources. Several reasons are cited in support of my recommendation.

Initially, usually it is almost impossible to be good at covering all the scale of news as one kind of source alone. For instance, perhaps local radio station could have access to the latest the government policy in this region while it is a better experience to watch TV news to recognize what happen all over the world. I would rather search numerous ways than stick to one source alone.

Equally, we might be misleading if just concentrating on one news source. These days, people hold more novel ideas and when 【we are】discussing about one topic, there will even be two opposite views. In order to understand the world we live better, more sources are needed, in fact.

Finally, thinking about efficient ways, we tend to choose 【to】get information from many different new sources. Through knowing the whole things deeply, we are enlightened to make the right decision and avoid mistakes. Maybe Internet websites bring us the news that is considered somewhat unconvincing, we are able to prove whether it is true by reading newspaper.

To sum up, provided that sometimes it is a tough task to choose one perfect method and use it during entire time, we had better achieve our goals in different way. Believe it or not, even the same scene will be viewed as extremely different pictures. Realizing all these stuff, searching information from variable sources is quite favorable.

1、 观点明确,结构清楚!

2、 遣词造句做得很好,句式变化多样,很丰富,有很强的可读性!

3、 语法词汇也是没什么问题!


Independent Task

Level Good

5.0

30

Level: GOOD (4.0–5.0)

ADVICE FOR IMPROVEMENT OF INDEPENDENT TASK

>> Continue to improve your ability to express opinions by studying the ways that published writers express their opinions.

>> Read articles and essays written by professional writers that express opinions about an issue (for example, asocial, environmental or educational issue).

>> Identify the writer’s opinion or opinions.

>> Notice how the writer addresses possible objections to the opinions, if the writer discusses these.

Integrated Task

Independent Task

Scaled Score

5.0

5.0

30

Good

Good


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