例题：
Choose a place you go to often that is important to you and explain why it is important. Please include specific details in your explanation.
Answer：
The most important place to me is library. I like reading very much. In library I can read books I want, novels, science books, even history books. The knowledge I want is prepared to me.
解析
(1) Original: In library I can read books I want, novels, science books, even history books.
Revised: In library I can read books I want, such as, novels, science books, even history books.
这样会使句子过渡衔接地更加自然，此外，such as它非常口语化，在口语中使用正合适，但是在写作中则不要使用为妙。
(2)深层次陈述问题方面的欠缺。
从上面的scripts中可以看得出他在全方位地支撑论点方面还有提升的空间。
其实他还可以从study, rest, date这几个分支来阐述。具体可以这样表述：Sometimes I can study there. Because it is a very quiet place; it is also a good place for me to take a rest. I can relax in the library. As nobody bothers me there; moreover, the library provides a wonderful environment for lovers to have a date.很明显添加这些内容之后，整个陈述就显得很完整了!
