托福写作批改：应该立即行动吗？

Do you agree or disagree with thefollowing statement? Patience is usually not a good strategy; we should takeaction now rather than later.

学生原文：

Time is limited. Make full preparation.Seize every opportunity. These three sayings characterize the way I manage myday-to-day chores. To comply with these principles, I take actions right now.

In the first place, taking action is aneffective way to save time. It is undeniable that time is money. Therefore, an employee with strong abilityof execution is more likely to be appreciated by his boss and earn more salary.Moreover, I always keep one thing in mind:　if I save some time,I can own more spare time to relax. From my experiences, I used to finish allmy homework after classes in order to concentrate on activities that interestme, such as swimming, singing and reading novels. Thus, taking action not onlypromote our financial benefits but also enhance our quality of leisure time becausehigh efficiency is well coordinated with the pace and rules of the society.

Secondly, many experiences convince me thatthe faster pace, the better effect. This is because taking action now promisesenough time for revision. To state it more clearly, this strategy allows me to finish the tasks in a relative shortperiod of time, so if the assignment has something wrong, I can make full useof the saved time to revise the original version. I think it is useful in many cases especiallywhen taking a test: completing questions earlier leaves me a chance to go overthe paper and correct my mistakes. That is to say, taking action now is also atactic for guaranteeing the quality of the mission.

Finally, taking action now is prerequisiteof seizing opportunity, a common sense that is fit to all walks of life. WarrenBuffett is an example that never fails to confirm this point. He is so decisivein the constant changing stock market and this is why he is capable of makingso much money. On the other hand, patience makes waste. It only makes theprecious opportunities slip away. Therefore, taking action is the premise ofsuccess.

In a word, considering the benefits oftaking actions: saving time, high quality of missions and seizing opportunity,it is easy to reach the conclusion that taking instant action deserves more.

   小站教育老师批改后：

Time is limited. Make full preparation. Seize every opportunity.【每个都加上双引号比较好哟】These three sayings characterize the way I manage my day-to-day chores. To comply with these principles, I take actions right now.【第一段别出心裁蛮不错的】

In the first place, taking action is an effective way to save time. It is undeniable that time is money. Therefore, an employee with strong ability of execution is more likely to be appreciated by his boss and earn more salary. Moreover, I always keep one thing in mind: if I save some time, I can own more spare time to relax. From my experiences, I used to finish all my homework after classes in order to concentrate on activities that interest me, such as swimming, singing and reading novels. Thus, taking action not only promote【s】our financial benefits but also enhance our quality of leisure time because high efficiency is well coordinated with the pace and rules of the society.

Secondly, many experiences convince me that the faster pace【we take】, the better effect【we have】.This is because taking action now promises enough time for revision. To state it more clearly, this strategy allows me to finish the tasks in a relative short period of time, 【. S】so if the assignment has something wrong, I can make full use of the saved time to revise the original version. I think it is useful in many cases especially when taking a test: completing questions earlier leaves me a chance to go over the paper and correct my mistakes. That is to say, taking action now is also a tactic for guaranteeing the quality of the mission.

Finally, taking action now is prerequisite of seizing opportunity, a common sense that is fit to all walks of life. Warren Buffett is an example that never fails to confirm this point. He is so decisive in the constant changing stock market and this is why he is capable of making so much money. On the other hand, patience makes waste. It only makes the precious opportunities slip away. Therefore, taking action is the premise of success.

In a word, considering the benefits of taking actions: saving time, high quality of missions and seizing opportunity, it is easy to reach the conclusion that taking instant action deserves more.

预估分数：

25

写的很不错哟，是比较新颖的一种写法。但是论述很充分，例子举得也不错，注意一些细节。