学生原文：
Although many people get the awareness of the importance of environmenting protecting, few of them tend to spare their effort to achieve it. This essay aims to explore the some of the major causes of the lack of individual effort and then represent some relevant measures that should be taken to address the problem.
From my perspective, there are two main reasons of this trend. To start with, people tend to overlook the little effect of individuals, although they know it is of great importance in environment protecting. It is true that effect of one person is very little, however, the accumulation of little effort from each person could bring great benefits to the Eco-system. In addition, it takes time to realize the benefits brought by individual effort. That is to say, the long working period reduce the confidence and brings a negative influence on people's belief in protecting the environment.
Considering the severity of the the lack of individual responsibility in environment protecting and it is necessary that we should adapting some effective measures to tackle the problem. Firstly, the government should improve the awareness of the importantce of individual effort in protecting the environment, with the help of advertisements and arts in a vivid way. What's more, the government could make some incentives to encourage folks to protect the environment themselves, helping them to cultivate the habit at first.
Overall, the are several causes for this problem. Every approach mentioned above has its unique role, hence they should all play their part in overcoming the problem.
最佳答案
小站教育老师批改后：
Many people think it is very important to protect environment but they make no effort to do it themselves? why does it happn? How to solve this problem?
可以先就环境问题做一个简单的背景介绍。Although many people get the awareness of the importance of environmenting（environmental) protecting, few of them tend to spare their effort to achieve it.（改写题目） This essay aims to explore the（去掉） some of the major causes of the lack of individual effort and then represent some relevant measures that should be taken to address the problem.（自己的观点）
注意第一段写作的三个层次。背景介绍。——改写题目——自己的观点
From my perspective, there are two main reasons of this trend. To start with, people tend to overlook the little effect of individuals, （each individual‘s effort)although they know it is of great importance in environment（environmental) protecting. It is true that effect（effort） of one person is very little, however, the accumulation of little effort from each person could bring great benefits to the Eco-system. In addition, it takes time to realize the benefits brought by individual ( individual‘s)effort. That is to say, the long working period reduce the confidence and brings a negative influence on people's belief in protecting the environment.
Considering the severity of the the lack of individual responsibility in environment（environmental) protecting and (去掉，改为逗号）it is necessary that we should adapting some effective measures to tackle the problem. Firstly, the government should improve the awareness of the importantce of individual effort in protecting the environment, with the help of advertisements and arts in a vivid way. What's more, the government could make some incentives to encourage folks to protect the environment themselves, helping them to cultivate the habit at first.（只从政府的角度去考虑问题，有些不足片面，可以再从个人的角度去想）
Overall, the are several causes for this problem. Every approach mentioned above has its unique role, hence they should all play their part in overcoming the problem.
估分：6-6.5；
评价：分析现象的原因和措施时候，角度要发散。多角度思考问题，会比较深刻。另外，你的低级错误太多了，要避免，精益求精。
