For one thing, the older people,who are in their forties and above, should have steady jobs rather than highpaying jobs. They are usually the main income source of the family that meansthey must afford the house, the payments from utilities bills to their children’s tuitions, or eventhe car. Without a secure job, they can hardly support their family. Forexample, my uncle has just quitted his last job because he did not want to riskanymore. He used to work as an insurer in an insurance company, his salary dependedon how much insurance he sells the whole month. so is not stable. He said thatalthough he can save much money one month, he was usually afraid that he mightsell no insurance the next month, which meant he would not have any salary. Andhis two children were all attending school, so he needed steady money to payfor the tuition every month. And his new job, not highly paid, was very secure,and he now was very satisfied. A steady but lower paying job is the best optionfor people who need to support their families like my uncle.
However, the young people,who just graduated from universities, should have high-risk jobs instead of stableones. They do not have any financial pressure from home, so they do not have totake secure jobs. All they need to do is just to save some money enough forrealizing their dreams. For instance, my brother Tim has a job that pays him alot. However, he will face a problem that he may be dismissed at any time if hedoes not catch the rhythm of the company. However, he thinks that the patternof job is what he wants. In this way, he also can quit whenever he wants. Hesays that his purpose is to save some money in order to set up his own company,thus the high paying is everything. He enjoys the busy but not steady life. Ifhe does not choose a risky but high paying company, he will wait for longperiod to start his own firm. In this case, the high paying jobs are much more suitableto young people who have dreams and want to make them realized.
In conclusion, the olderpeople need to find low paying but secure jobs to support their families, whilethe young people would better to live high paying jobs without security to saveenough money and make their dreams come true.
小站教育综合点评及批改意见：
总的来说，本文的语言还是较为流畅的。开头部分的观点表述不明确，没有正面回答题目的问题。观点表述建议最好在题目的两个选项中选择一个作为论证方向，一边倒。论证部分没有很有利的主旨句作为论点，论证方向不一致导致结论的观点也不明确。注意每个论证段的开头句要写成既能有力论证观点又能概括本段中心大意的句子作为本段的主旨句。建议多参考一下范文的内容格式。另外，文章有一些小的错误，比如单词拼写错误以及单词与单词之间没有空格，要注意规避。
Independent Task 3
Level：Fair 18
Level: FAIR (2.5–3.5)
ADVICE FOR IMPROVEMENT OF INDEPENDENT TASK
Write a response to an article or essay in English, taking the opposite viewpoint.
Outline your response.
Note the methods you use to support your ideas. Reread what you have written.
Make sure your supporting ideas are clearly related to your main point.
Note what method you use to develop each of your supporting points.
Make sure you have developed each of your points in detail. Is there anything more you could have said to strengthen your points?
学习建议：
尝试用反面观点来进行论证。
写文章前先制定写作大纲。
写作是需要注意使用的论证方式，写好之后要回看修改。
注意论据和论点之间的关系要紧密。
论证方式要多样化。
注意论据要多用细节。看是否有更多的论据来支撑观点。
