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免费托福写作批改:人们应该坚持梦想吗?

小站教育为各位考试提供免费在线批改服务,今天托福写作批改板块给各位考生带来的批改是:Do you agree or disagree? People should insist their challenging dreams or practical dreams.

免费托福写作批改前:

Once, Edison told his friends he would invent artificial lights to illuminate our lives. Ridiculous as this idea might seem when others heard. However, contribute to his challenging dream, we equip with bright lives nowadays. Therefore, I suppose people should hold fast to their challenging dreams.

To begin with, chasing challenging dreams can bring about some epoch-making contributions to our lives. Although challenging dreams could incur overwhelming challenges to dream-seekers, we can’t ignore the considerable power lying in these obstacles. Conquering these challenges, we will be endowed with some outstanding consequences. To illustrate, Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, shocked the world with his iPhone whose superior functions and qualities can never be matched. However, his idea of iPhone was despised by his workmates and partners at first. Yet he never abandoned this plan, reforming and optimizing it incessantly. Eventually, this time-tested electronic product not only acquired unprecedented success, but also made human step into “smart age”. It is challenging dream that lead our developments. Therefore, we should set considerable store by tough dreams.

What’s more, the process of probing deeper into tough dreams could steel our personalities and spark our potentials. Undeniably, probing deeper into tough dreams would encounter millions of obstacles standing in the way. However, only striving to conquer these challenges could we stretch ourselves. Compared with someone who enjoy their practical dreams, truthfully, they could always feel sense of achievement and accomplishment, they also are trapped into their restricted abilities, their potentials can never be sparked profoundly. For instance, Without his tough dreams, Liu Xiang would never have changed the World Record for 110m hurdle, which was recorded for 11 years. Therefore, chasing tough dreams can achieve our self-promotions.

Granted, chasing tough dreams is not a panacea. As for someone who are psychologically weak, they might struggle and become disoriented because they can’t acquire sense of achievements. However, discovering our defects and resolving them are also critical steps in our lives. Meanwhile, we could fulfill our potentials in this process towards challenging dreams. Even though we can’t reach the final, the scenery around roads is also precious wealth for us. Therefore, we should adhere to our “ridiculous dreams”.

In conclusion, I would quote a saying from a celebrity, people will grow old by deserting their ideals.

免费托福写作批改后:

Once, Edison told his friends he would invent artificial lights to illuminate our lives. Ridiculous as this idea might seem when others heard. However, contribute to his challenging dream, we equip with bright lives nowadays. Therefore, I suppose people should hold fast to their challenging dreams.【很好】

To begin with, chasing challenging dreams can bring about some epoch-making contributions to our lives.【不是很精彩,单页整洁大方,风格是对的】Although challenging dreams could incur overwhelming challenges to dream-seekers, we can’t ignore the considerable power lying in these obstacles. Conquering these challenges, we will be endowed with some outstanding consequences. To illustrate, Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, shocked the world with his iPhone whose superior functions and qualities can never be matched. However, his idea of iPhone was despised by his workmates and partners at first. Yet he never abandoned this plan, reforming and optimizing it incessantly. Eventually, this time-tested electronic product not only acquired unprecedented success, but also made human step into “smart age”. It is challenging dream that lead our developments. Therefore, we should set considerable store by tough dreams.【很好,分词运用的也很娴熟】

What’s more, the process of probing deeper into tough dreams could steel our personalities and spark our potentials.[good] Undeniably, probing deeper into tough dreams would encounter millions of obstacles standing in the way. However, only striving to conquer these challenges could we stretch ourselves. Compared with someone who enjoy their practical dreams, truthfully, they could always feel sense of achievement and accomplishment, they also are trapped into their restricted abilities, their potentials can never be sparked profoundly. For instance, Without his tough dreams, Liu Xiang would never have changed the World Record for 110m hurdle, which was recorded for 11 years. Therefore, chasing tough dreams can achieve our self-promotions.【整体还是会很好的,注意小的语法】

Granted, chasing tough dreams is not a panacea. As for someone who are psychologically weak, they might struggle and become disoriented because they can’t acquire [the ] sense of achievements. However, discovering our defects and resolving them are also critical steps in our lives. Meanwhile, we could fulfill our potentials in this process towards challenging dreams. Even though we can’t reach the final, the scenery around roads is also precious wealth for us. Therefore, we should adhere to our “ridiculous dreams”.

In conclusion, I would quote a saying from a celebrity, people will grow old by deserting their ideals.

这篇风格完全就很上道,除了小的语法错误,没有什么好挑的了,再完善下某些句子,你还可以再关键部分再精彩的,虚拟啊也可以用上,加油。

25分

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